As a #TrueMillennial sometimes it is hard to feel like a real adult. Perhaps we would act more adult like if we were treated that way. Last night I attended a Young SINGLE Adult ward activity. Don’t get me wrong, the activity was well planned and the people in attendance were all pleasant. I just am usually not too big on these, the forced interaction until you find someone of the opposite sex to shove that eternal cake into their face on your wedding day, it just doesn’t get me fired up. I am even dating someone currently and was not boy-hunting at the event and felt uncomfortable. The “chaperones” of the night were constantly walking through the gym, not talking to us, but monitoring us, doing hand checks. I mean honestly, if I was going to get frisky with a boy, do you think I would come to a church event to do it, let alone come to the event at all? I completely understand that my choices affect my future. To be fair, not all of our “chaperones” did this, but I feel that many activities are like this and seem to be the common theme. I remember reading a blog post a year ago on this very topic (I can’t remember which one) that went on to describe this concept: How can we be expected to do adult things like choose to get married and have a family, when we are not treated in a way that can facilitate it. I had mentioned this to my boyfriend and he brought up the point, it won’t change it’s Mormon Culture.This is not meant to be a rant against the Mormon culture. There are many who have adapted to it and enjoy it. If there is anyone out there like me, it is hard to be treated like a teen or child just because you are not married. Sometimes I wonder if our current culture hinders us rather than helps us. While serving a mission in Palmyra, all of the site sister met in the temple. The temple president said to us, many of you might not marry, prepare for that, prepare to provide for yourself. This is something that not only shocked me, but many other sisters. As I graduated college, ring-less might I add, I realized that the life of a spinster might be in my future. I started to prepare to provide for myself. I have a college degree, served an LDS mission, have a full-time job with benefits, and own a 39” smart television and Kitchen Aid… I am an adult, what else do you need? I want to date like an adult. So that if marriage becomes an option I am prepared to handle it like an adult. When you go through the ups and downs of marriage, making blanket forts and going to chaperoned dances will not be the answer, still a fun activity to do, but will not help with the trials that come your way. If we can’t be trusted to handle ourselves without stepping over a boundary at a church event, how are we expected to have a successful and faithful marriage? Am I the only one who feels this way? Just some thoughts….
(Read it lightly, I did use some sarcasm, (C)LV2013)
Thanks Clare bear for you post! I really enjoyed it! You brought up some great points 🙂 I also may be biased to liking your post because of the awesome picture you chose! sure do miss you!
In some ways dating as a Mormon is less complicated now. Imagine being a young girl and being asked on a date by Brigham Young or Joseph Smith because they are courting you to be a future wife. You attempt to find romance and attraction with your potential future husband but all the while you know they have other wives and families they will return to after your date. Or consider the other side. You’re the wife of a Prophet or Apostle and your husband will still take single women on dates to consider them as future brides.
Dating is easier now, but I understand why Emma had so much trouble with Josephs dating and marrying other women.
I agree, dating is easier in some ways now. Great points Miriam and thanks for commenting and reading!