Dear Mrs. Goldin- What My Mom Taught Me by Not Working

Kara HintToday I read a disturbing article that I found on LinkedIn. It was titled What Would it Teach my Kids if I Stopped Working. The article was written by Kara Goldin who is the Founder and CEO of Hint (flavored water). She tells the tale of how she decided to make flavored water (not original btw, propel ect.) and make a business of it. In the midst of her brilliant idea she had found out she was once again pregnant, with her fourth child… There must be something in that “special flavored water” of hers… I would question that, I think the warning label says “May cause pregnancy, and rash stereotypes.”

Now before I begin my “rant” I want to point this out, in 2013 Taylor Swift was at the brunt of some of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s jokes for finding a new boy to date. Lets be honest Taylor you find a new one as often as there is a sale at Khols. Taylor replies to the dream team with this: “You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people, because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’” Taylor what I want to point out here is by dating all these men, maybe you are not necessarily helping women out either. All I am saying is, there will always be a different opinion on what is right and what is wrong.

IPHONE JULY 2013 116Well Mrs. Goldin, I think you are wrong. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom and there is nothing wrong with being a working mother. There will be obvious differences in a child who has a parent in the home at all times and a child with two working parents. Depending on who your deciding audience is the outcomes maybe positive or negative. You stated some very harsh stereotypes:

 

“The most difficult men I have managed: 1) had a mom that stayed home, 2) had lost their mom as a young child or 3) grew up with a father who spoke negatively about his mother. It’s sometimes hard for them to accept a woman in the work force much less as their boss. -Mrs. Goldin”

I would like to ask what method you used to obtaining this data? I had a stay at home mother, I have three brothers, none of whom fit your stereotypes of men being managed. One of my brother’s has his PhD in Family Sciences and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and works mainly side by side and under the direction of females, I have done research with him under the supervision of his advisors, and have seen him interact both in a workplace setting and the behind the scenes. Never has he shown signs of difficulty, hatred, or spoken negatively of his female bosses. Again this is a bias view, but if you asked anyone who knew him, they would say the same (ask for references). Your stereotypes might be true of some men, but I don’t think that having a stay at home mom was the contributing factor. Perhaps I will do my thesis on it one day…

IPHONE JULY 2013 117Mrs. Goldin how dare you belittle what my mother has done for me and my 5 brothers and sisters. As hard as it is for you to leave your kids and go to work, it was hard for my mom to give up the nursing career she dreamed of, so that she could give us her best. I applaud you for working and raising a family, I hope to one day balance my life so I can do both. However, if I am fortunate enough to be able to spend all of my time with my kids, I will consider myself lucky. What my mom taught me about staying home is that the person is more important than the money. That I was wanted and needed in this world. My mother taught me that life needs a balance between work and play. She spent countless hours reading books to me, playing blocks, and making me lunch. She got up every morning and poured me orange juice to show she cared. I have learned to love people because of her. She stayed home and helped me with my homework that prepared me to get scholarships in college, and to obtain a degree. I never went a night with out a home cooked meal surrounded by family. The house was always clean, and I had clothes on my back. She stayed home to be my best friend when I didn’t have any other friends, she was always there for me, she provided a stable home for me to be raised in. My life would be different if she worked I am sure, I can’t say if it would be better or worse. What I do know is that she stayed home and taught me to respect others decisions, and to be what I want to be and stick up for what I believe in.

Rant. Over.IPHONE JULY 2013 174
(C)LV-B2014

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6 thoughts on “Dear Mrs. Goldin- What My Mom Taught Me by Not Working

  1. Joe Deaver says:

    I disagree with your assessment. She didn’t assault the institution of being a stay-at-home-mom. She, in fact, was relating her own difficulties as a working woman due to our society’s dismissive view of women who have stayed at home. You are lucky to have been raised in a subculture that values “stay at home moms” and teaches that value system to its male and female members alike. But unfortunately, the general inculcation of the value of women, whether in the home or in the workplace, lacks significantly throughout our culture.

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    • vatc33 says:

      Thanks for commenting Joe! I didn’t agree with her views that men were hard to manage because they had stay at home moms, there is no research backing that up. You are right, I am very lucky to have had a mom in the home while growing up. I just think it is important to respect either decision a mother makes!

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  2. Blake Smith says:

    I might bring up your disagreements with your teacher and have an intelligent discussion with her about it. Rather than writing reactionist rants to no one about how your mom didn’t fit a stereotype in a random point being made. /endrant

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  3. vatc33 says:

    Blake-
    I no longer have teachers, I am a college graduate, but thank you for the advice. I wrote about my mother in particular, but there are so many moms out there who did the exact same thing she did. I was more peeved that she stereotyped men the way she did. It may be a rant, but it is a rant with a point.

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  4. empathologismemp says:

    Blake Smith

    I marvel at the ability to compartmentalize. The writer here cites anecdotal evidence to make her case, true. But because you are aligned with what Kara Goldin wrote you failed to notice how painfully similar her proof text was. A couple of men she managed? And even then, by what metric did she assign them the label “unmanageable”? Id take a both sides bet with odds that manageable means sycophant.

    Good post, I found it while writing my own reaction to that article. Ironically there are two other articles in the archives at linbkedin that directly refute her giddy claims, but with some sober substance. She comes across like a spoiled tantrum thrower who creates an artificial reality that supports her untempered wants.

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