I thought I knew myself. I thought I knew everything about myself. I know I enjoy television shows. I know I enjoy pumpkin ice cream. I know that I don’t like my towel to touch the toilet. After five months of marriage, I have learned more about myself than in the previous 23 years of my life (don’t worry not in a bad way). Marriage includes living with someone 24/7 and sharing EVERYTHING with them. Your first few weeks of marriage are an adjustment that end up being an exciting adventure. I remember in my Senior Capstone Communication class we learned about Tenacity. It is something I will never forget. It is about “tradition” or persistence in doing something. John Sieter told the story of the pot roast. When “Jane” left home and cooked her first pot roast for her husband she cut the end off of it and threw it away, because that is what her mom did. Years later, her mom came for dinner and asked why she had cut the end of the roast off. The daughter replied, with “well that’s what you did.” The mother, laughing, replied with, “I only cut if off, because it didn’t fit in my pan!” Tenacity. We do things the way we see them done, monkey see monkey do. When you get married, you are combining two sets of tradition. You go into it thinking YOUR way is the best because that was what you grew up with.
Mr. Bird and I have seen tenacity when it comes to cooking. When I began cooking for him, I would come up with a meal that I thought was perfect… It included a small piece of meat and one side dish. Mr. Bird played along with this willingly until he confided in me he was still hungry. He explained to me that a meal to him included meat, vegetables, maybe fruit or bread. I had been so use to my tradition of eating rice with butter and soy sauce in college and then a large dessert, that our definitions of meals were different. I laughed out loud. I was only a few weeks into marriage and I was already starving my husband.
Something else I have learned about myself, is my willingness to cut corners. I believe in getting a job done and doing it as fast as I can so I can move on. I am a quick fix it kind of person. Mr. Bird is the complete opposite. He is so good at paying attention to every detail and doing something right the first time and with success. Our tendencies have both pros and cons. For me when it comes to cooking, I get bored of using the exact ingredients and measurements. I decided to make up a recipe one night and it was DELIGHTFUL. Mr. Bird and I loved it. The next time I tried to make it, it was completely different, I hadn’t written anything down… I cut corners. Mr. Bird on the other hand does not (and I LOVE it). Another example of my cutting corners would be that last shelf I assembled… I was so excited and wanted to get it done as fast as I could so I could start putting stuff on it, that I put some of the shelves upside down, and when I realized it my thought was “Ain’t nobody got time for that,” so I left it. During the first few weeks of marriage it was his job to clean the bathroom. To me cleaning the bathroom is spending like 10 minutes tidying up and wiping things down. Mr. Bird goes all out. He would take everything out of the bathroom, sanitize everything, scrub the bathroom from top to bottom. It was a piece of art when he was done with it. All I can say is, we balance one another well.
After being married awhile, you learn how to work the system. This is bad, and Mr. Bird knows it. But when I want something to be deep cleaned, I tend to leave it a little too dirty for his taste. That is when he goes into detail mode and cleans the room head to toe. Just kidding, it doesn’t work like that but wouldn’t that be nice? Those are only two things I have learned in the past 5 months being Mrs. Bird. It has been an adventure, and I have loved every minute.