The Two Questions to Stop Asking Women

1606348_10204076942700462_2556663616494677616_oI have been off the grid for a while. I apologize. I spend most of my time on social media sites throughout the day for work, and when I am done, it is hard to bring myself to get back on when I should be spending time with my husband. Mr. Bird is in medical school and it is a rarity to see him these days. Today, I want to address something that has been bothering me as of late.  When Mr. Bird and I started dating I posted pictures on Instagram and to Facebook so I could document our relationship. I thought, well if this guy eventually asks me to marry him we are going to need an awesome wedding video #girlthoughts. That was my motive. These pictures led to questions after only two months of dating…. They were all questions about when we were going to be married. At this point in our relationship I knew very little about him…which was okay, it was still early. Don’t get me wrong, I was already thinking about marriage myself, but the more people asked the more I wanted it. I mean an unmarried 24-year-old, college graduate living in her parents house, it didn’t look good, and people were worried…I get it… But I started to become envious of those in that stage in life and wasn’t “living in the moment.” Two nights before Mr. Bird proposed to me we got into a disagreement. It was about how he hadn’t proposed yet. All I could think was I want to be engaged and I want people to stop asking the question “when are you getting married.” Two nights later, he surprised me at the train depot with a candle lit path lined in white roses and pictures of us. If you ask me, it was perfect. Finally I could post it to the world and no one would ever ask me that question again… (besides what the day was)

The week after Mr. Bird and I were married we settled back into our “normal” lives. With only one week of marriage under our belt, people started asking when we were going to have kids. I didn’t even have an entire month to enjoy being a newlywed. I started worrying about it. I though oh no, we are just getting use to being married and now we are expected to have kids! At this point, it never occurred to me that I could ignore these people.

Now before I continue, I want to make sure you all know… I am not innocent in this aspect. I asked these questions to so many about when they were getting married and when they would have kids. I have made the decision that I will no longer ask these questions. We are so easy to ask questions not considering the person’s background or circumstance. When a “cookie cutter” Mormon couple has a long engagement or are waiting to get married maybe there are things that they are taking care of and have to wait. That scenario would already be painful enough, we don’t want to burden them any further.

I followed Andy from How to Lose a Guy in 10 days, this is our future child even with glasses!
I followed Andy from How to Lose a Guy in 10 days, this is our future child even with glasses!

As for kids… If I had a dollar for every time I heard “when are you having kids” or “you wouldn’t know, you don’t have kids” (that’s the worst) I would literally be able to pay next months electricity bill. When you ask the question or simply state that people without kids don’t understand, it merely rolls off your tongue and is forgotten within minutes. To the receiver of the statement it resonates for much longer. I want to share with you a #reallife event. A few weeks ago I went to an event where I was the only one without kids (this is now my normal) which I have learned to enjoy, I get to hold all the cute babies and I don’t have to take them home! However I left this event feeling like I was worth nothing because I had not  yet reproduced. At the event I was even refereed to as the free babysitter while I was left out of the “adult” conversation and reminded multiple times that “I wouldn’t know, I don’t have kids.” I mean come on! I have been married almost 7 months, if we wanted to have a child it wouldn’t even be here yet. I know that their intentions were not to hurt my feelings, but I couldn’t help but feel worthless. I felt that I had no identity, no personality, and nothing of worth because I didn’t have a baby on my hip and the warrior like stretch marks covering my stomach. So obviously I called my mom and she managed to talk me up! We joked about all the things I could say… My favorite being “You wouldn’t know, you have kids.” She taught me such a valuable lesson, love where you are in life and live it. Life will continue and kids will come along when it’s time.

I suggest that my readers consider not asking these questions anymore. I mean it’s okay to ask your sisters that’s like a basic human right, but refrain from asking those you meet in your day. We never know what is going on behind the scenes. We don’t know if a couple has experienced a miscarriage, we don’t know if they have problems with fertility, we don’t know their lives! If us childless women want to talk about it, trust me we will bring it up and ask you questions.

As I finish this post, I don’t want you all to leave thinking Clare is upset or unhappy. If I have hung out with you recently PLEASE don’t sit and run our past conversations through your mind, it’s not worth it…We all know that I am over-sensitive. I have moved on and relished in the fact I can stay up all night playing Settlers of Catan without interruption. If you said something, I can promise you I am over it. The truth is I am so happy where I am in life. I am a newlywed. I get my best friend to myself. I may be baby hungry, but what woman with an active Pinterest account is not…



We Are Conditioned.

Last week I wrote about “cutting corners.” All week I have been thinking about that personality trait I had. It has inspired me to try new things. Mr. Bird has been patient with this new trend of mine. Yesterday I felt particularity apt to trying something new in the kitchen. During #clotts last date night we spotted a Zupas and decided it would be better to go into debt then pass this up (just kidding, but almost). We tried a few of the soups and I fell in love with the Mushroom Bisque. I decided I would one day master this soup and make it dairy free. After I finished work yesterday I went to the beloved Winco and picked up the ingredients I needed to make the soup. The recipe looked a little advanced for someone who still burns Ramen Noodles, but that didn’t scare me. When I got home, the mess, I mean cooking, began. I spent an hour and twenty minutes putting together this gourmet soup. I soaked the mushrooms in a separate bowl and used the left over mushroom juice as an ingredient just like the recipe said. I was so proud of myself for following the recipe thus far… I melted the butter, mixed it in with the garlic and onion and poured in the chicken broth. I heard Mr. Bird yell from the other room that it smelled delightful. In my mind I thought, what a cute husband, he took a break out of his super busy study schedule to tell me that my cooking smelt good. I think he has picked up on the fact I need compliments if he wants me to keep feeding him.

While the soup was simmering, I broke out the tomatoes and basil and began making some brushetta for a side dish, because men like multiple dishes of food for a meal. Last night I learned that you make side dishes to feed your husband when the main dish fails. After the soup had simmered for 30 minutes it was time to stir in my homemade dairy free whipping cream. This is where things got a little experimental. I had used my 2% lactose free milk, butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla as a substitute. It didn’t change the taste too much, but it was lacking the thick consistency. I thought oh well, Mr Bird can handle soup that’s a little runny. He came into the kitchen as I was trying to clean up some of the dishes so we could play Yahtzee (a dinner tradition) through dinner without me being distracted. Mr. Bird tasted the soup and said it needed a little more salt. I gave him the go ahead to add a little to the pot. About 45 seconds later, he turned around and said “Well I ruined it.” He had poured in about a cup of salt… I just started laughing. I tasted it too and it was ruined. He looked at me and asked if I was mad. I will say that for about 2 seconds I was and then I realized it was just food. We had a good laugh for about 20 minutes. We had cereal and brushetta for dinner. Throughout the night we continued to laugh about the whole ordeal.

There are many life lessons I could get out of this event, like the stomach pain might be worth the dairy, don’t pick recipes with too many directions, and life is too short to be upset, especially when it comes to your marriage or partner. He kept asking all night if I was mad at him. We are a people who are conditioned to think that when something goes wrong that someone has to be MAD. It is okay to make mistakes, that is how we learn. If we become too afraid to try something new because we fear a mistake is at the end, we will no longer try. This event didn’t scare me away from trying new things, it only made me want to try more.


Cutting Corners


I thought I knew myself. I thought I knew everything about myself. I know I enjoy television shows. I know I enjoy pumpkin ice cream. I know that I don’t like my towel to touch the toilet. After five months of marriage, I have learned more about myself than in the previous 23 years of my life (don’t worry not in a bad way). Marriage includes living with someone 24/7 and sharing EVERYTHING with them. Your first few weeks of marriage are an adjustment that end up being an exciting adventure. I remember in my Senior Capstone Communication class we learned about Tenacity. It is something I will never forget. It is about “tradition” or persistence in doing something. John Sieter told the story of the pot roast. When “Jane” left home and cooked her first pot roast for her husband she cut the end off of it and threw it away, because that is what her mom did. Years later, her mom came for dinner and asked why she had cut the end of the roast off. The daughter replied, with “well that’s what you did.” The mother, laughing, replied with, “I only cut if off, because it didn’t fit in my pan!” Tenacity. We do things the way we see them done, monkey see monkey do. When you get married, you are combining two sets of tradition. You go into it thinking YOUR way is the best because that was what you grew up with.

Mr. Bird and I have seen tenacity when it comes to cooking. When I began cooking for him, I would come up with a meal that I thought was perfect… It included a small piece of meat and one side dish. Mr. Bird played along with this willingly until he confided in me he was still hungry. He explained to me that a meal to him included meat, vegetables, maybe fruit or bread. I had been so use to my tradition of eating rice with butter and soy sauce in college and then a large dessert, that our definitions of meals were different. I laughed out loud. I was only a few weeks into marriage and I was already starving my husband.

IMG_4387Something else I have learned about myself, is my willingness to cut corners. I believe in getting a job done and doing it as fast as I can so I can move on. I am a quick fix it kind of person. Mr. Bird is the complete opposite. He is so good at paying attention to every detail and doing something right the first time and with success. Our tendencies have both pros and cons. For me when it comes to cooking, I get bored of using the exact ingredients and measurements. I decided to make up a recipe one night and it was DELIGHTFUL. Mr. Bird and I loved it. The next time I tried to make it, it was completely different, I hadn’t written anything down… I cut corners. Mr. Bird on the other hand does not (and I LOVE it). Another example of my cutting corners would be that last shelf I assembled… I was so excited and wanted to get it done as fast as I could so I could start putting stuff on it, that I put some of the shelves upside down, and when I realized it my thought was “Ain’t nobody got time for that,” so I left it. During the first few weeks of marriage it was his job to clean the bathroom. To me cleaning the bathroom is spending like 10 minutes tidying up and wiping things down. Mr. Bird goes all out. He would take everything out of the bathroom, sanitize everything, scrub the bathroom from top to bottom. It was a piece of art when he was done with it. All I can say is, we balance one another well.

After being married awhile, you learn how to work the system. This is bad, and Mr. Bird knows it. But when I want something to be deep cleaned, I tend to leave it a little too dirty for his taste. That is when he goes into detail mode and cleans the room head to toe. Just kidding, it doesn’t work like that but wouldn’t that be nice? Those are only two things I have learned in the past 5 months being Mrs. Bird. It has been an adventure, and I have loved every minute.


Forever Young.

IPHONE JULY 2013 126There must be something in the water here in Arizona, or maybe it is the lack of water, but I feel like I am Benjamin Button. I left Boise thinking I am a full-grown adult, I have a husband, and I finally look my age. Well this was a joke. I still do not look my age. I don’t know if it is my lack of enthusiasm when it comes to wearing makeup these days (it’s cheaper not to), or if it is my height (same since 6th grade), or continually diminishing body weight (#giproblems). I have had a cornucopia of interactions since we moved to AZ that has reaffirmed to me that I will be forever young.

My first Sunday in Relief Society I felt shy. Something I don’t usually feel. I quickly chose a seat. I was easily hidden behind the “adult sized” women in front of me. A few minutes later the sister missionaries sat down next to me. As the meeting started and as they introduced everyone, I was mistaken as a sister missionary. Now in this situation, I can understand the misunderstanding. I was a sister missionary just a few years ago, so somewhat understandable… Don’t worry, I got over this one pretty quickly. I did receive some satisfaction out of running up and kissing my husband right after class… I think that made some of the fellow sisters wince 🙂

The second event took place at none other than COSTCO. I guess in the workers defense, everything comes in bulk there, and I am in no way “bulk.” I grabbed my shopping cart and walked through the large opening and showed my OWN Costco (what teenage owns one of those?). I put my first item in the cart, and decided to use my calculator app on my phone to track how much money I was going to lose that day. As I looked down, an employee (maybe 21) came up to me and asked if I was lost, and if I had come shopping with my parents. I was in awe. I can understand that I don’t look 24, but I don’t look like I need adult supervision!

The third event happened yesterday. I had new neighbors moving in and they had two teenage girls. The mom looked like she needed help, so I offered to carry in some boxes. She said great, my girls could use some friends! I didn’t think twice about her comment, until she asked me how old I was. This isn’t usually something someone asks right away. I replied with 24, I live down stairs with my husband! She laughed hysterically, like I was kidding. She said there is no way, you have to be 14…

These comments will flatter me in a couple of years, but right now they drive me nuts. I can’t imagine the dirty looks I will get when I eventually get pregnant. I am sure many mothers will turn to their daughters and whisper in the grocery store, “maybe we will see her on teen mom.” Okay, now that my forever young rant is over…. Does anyone else have this happen all of the time?

It Just Never Gets Old

IPHONE JULY 2013 052On the long drive from Boise to Glendale I became very bored… As you can imagine, I did everything from counting my freckles, flossing my teeth, and having one on one conversations with myself in Albanian. At one point Mr. Bird and I got stopped on some long long road with a sign that said “Wait might be 30 minutes.” Instead of waiting patiently in our cars, Mr. Bird and I hopped out of our cars and grabbed our baseball mitts from the trunk. We played catch in the middle of the free-way. It’s okay, there was no on coming traffic. After this little slice of heaven, we headed back to our cars and we drove on. My boredom continued… As I looked around the car, I realized I had Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on cd. It was almost like I had found Tom Riddle’s diary. I decided to begin the journey of listening to one of my childhood favorites. As I turned up the volume, my boredom quickly dissipated, and I was sucked into the most life-like story ever written.

This is a book I have read or listened to over 12 times, and each time I have found something new. Here are my bullet points.

-The Vanishing Cabinet that Peeves Drops

The vanishing cabinet that Peeves drops over Filch’s office is broken, the cabinet is later placed in the room of requirement, where things are gone to be “lost.” This cabinet is later used when Malfoy tries to sneak in death eaters….

– Fred and George

Fred and George are much more appreciated and talked about in the books. I had forgotten how much time Harry really did spend with them and how much the twins cared about him.

– The Diary as a Horcrux

While listening this time I wonder why this particular Horcrux did not have the same effect as the locket in book 7. When Ginny throws the book down the toilet and Harry finds it, he doesn’t necessarily sense Voldemort like he does with other horcruxes.  When he began writing in the diary, he felt as if he knew Tom Riddle, but he didn’t receive a pain in his scar or an overpowering sense of darkness. Why is this? Is it because J.K didn’t know what a Horcrux would be just yet? Or was is because it was it something to do with it being the first horcrux… Questions Questions Questions…

I had more, but am having a complete brain freeze and can’t remember. Overall, it was surprisingly refreshing to listen to the book again! It’s the details that make me happy 🙂 I thought I would throw in a good ole #tbt to when my brother Max and I dressed up for one of the movie premiers!



4 Things About Arizona

I have been quite for a while so I apologize. I have been in the midst of a life change that included a lot of planning, packing, and driving. Mr. Bird and I packed up our 18 foot Budget truck and started the trek to Glendale Arizona. We were lucky to have family members help us pack up. On the drive to AZ, I realized how lucky we had been to be surrounded by our families. It will be sad to not be able to stop by my parent’s house and say hi to all of the kids, we will miss Sunday dinners with our families, and the cooler weather 🙂

There are a few things I have learned since moving to Arizona…

cactu1. Don’t touch the cacti…

Mr. Bird and I were stopped in Kingman city when a random man came up to us and said your tired is about to blog (on the rental truck dolly) so we had to take a time out while they worked with Budget and got the tires changed. While this was happening, Mr. Bird and I were glad to do a little exploring in the literal desert. I had found my first cactus it was a flat one and looked dead. Without thinking, I picked up the leaf and started to examine it. At first I had forgotten what covered the outer layer, but was quickly reminded. After giving a little “yelp” and dropping the cactus, and a lizard ran in front of me, I looked down to find my fingers covered in prick-lies. I learned the lesson of, even if it looks cool don’t touch it…

2. Everything Melts…

Mr. Bird and I thought that death was imminent with the heat surrounding our thick blooded bodies while moving. We got in the car and decided popsicles would be the only solution. We picked out the most delectable flavors including pina colda, mango, and banana. We put them in the backseat, and within the 5 minute drive home, they had melted. So apparently it’s a thing to take a cooler to the store.

3. Waterholic

I am not used to drinking water. I don’t really enjoy it. Prior to living in AZ, I would drink maybe a glass and a half a day. Now I feel like an addict, carrying one around just to keep cool. So if I am not sweating, then I am probably running to the bathroom.

4. Color

There is none. There is literally no colors here. At first I was wondering if I was stuck in The Giver… Arizona has three colors Brown, Tan, and Rust Red. This is something I will have to get used to!

We have been warmly welcomed by ward members and have already been to someone’s house for dinner, and another house for games! We have been invited to dinner again tomorrow night, I have been searching for the perfect housewarming cactus to leave.



2048-WinI have an obsessive personality, there is no hiding it. When I find something I like, I make sure to squeeze every ounce out of it. When I discovered that I could buy pop tarts and eat them for breakfast, I was in heaven. I have eaten pop tarts for breakfast, with the RARE occasion of cereal, every day for the past 2 years. No, I don’t switch them up, it is always the brown sugar and cinnamon just a little bit burnt. Two years ago it was spaghetti and meatballs, literally every time I went to a restaurant that is what I ordered, it’s what I made for dinner when I didn’t have to hurry, it was what I craved all of the time. The reason I tell you these things is because I want to paint a picture of how dedicated I am to my obsessions. Another example is this week, I had a craving for Harry Potter. In my limited time, I have managed to watch all 8 of them this week, and felt a little empty when I wasn’t watching it. Okay, now that I have buttered you up and convinced you of my weird quirk I will tell you of my recent obsession that almost drove me mad. I wasn’t the only one participating, it was all of my family members. 2048. It’s a game app you can download on your phone, but I must warn you… It is the most time-consuming, frustrating, and rewarding game (only when you win). To be honest, I have only been awarded a winner screen once, because after I accomplished it, I vowed to not pick it up again. The game is all about doubling numbers that match until you reach 2048, when the board fills up all the way the game is over. I was introduced to the game just days prior to our honeymoon cruise, and let’s just say we learned to share by taking turns playing it. As we like to say, we played for days. I was becoming even more frustrated when I couldn’t solve it and most of my family members had. It was like every day someone would announce in the family group text that they had reached the blessed number 2048. Envy grew inside me, and I began to dedicate myself even more. I woke up early one morning to play and found my self just a little late to work. I would play while I browned meat on the stove, and even while I was in the bathtub. My supportive husband could see how dedicated I was and kept reassuring me that I would win soon. It was June 9th when I fell asleep just a little bit early, and my husband stole my iPad. He stayed up late and finally won the game. He waited all night for me to wake up. I woke bright and early on June 10th and looked over to see my husband staring at me. He said he had to show me something. I had no idea what was coming. He grabbed the iPad and showed me the winning screen. I wanted to cry, yell, and be mad, but I couldn’t it was his birthday. He tried to convince me that it was a birthday miracle and that is NOT something you can argue about.  So I let him have his glory. He could tell I was jealous and continued to reassure me that I would finish the game. I honestly felt like I was inside Ready Player One. It was later that night or week, I can’t remember when, but I finished the game. I HAD WON! It had taken me almost a month, and honestly all I felt was relief. Mr. Bird can have his wife back now. Well, until two of my sister-in-laws sent me a screen shot of the 4096 last night…. The question is now… to game or not to game?


Putting Our Best Foot Forward…

DSCF2011 Well a few months ago Mr. Bird and I put a cat in a bag… Now it’s time to let it out! Mr. Bird and I will be moving to Glendale, Arizona in the middle of July. He has been accepted into Midwestern’s Podiatry Class of 2018. It has been a roller coaster of fun figuring out our future, but we are excited about our decision. We have been very blessed through this process. When Mr. Bird accepted his interview to Midwestern we were told there was a spot available. So we decided it would be worth the trip to fly him out there and interview. When he arrived, he was told that it was false information, and he would be put on a waiting list. We wondered why we would be told that. We felt our chances might be slim in getting into Midwestern and so we accepted at a school in Ohio. Last Thursday Mr. Bird was told that he was number 1 on the wait list and the candidate had not deposited or contacted them at all. We felt a little piece of hope flutter in. Arizona was our top choice because it was closer to Idaho, warmer, and had a smaller class size. We were told we would know Monday morning. It was a long weekend, but we learned patience. We were pleased to hear this morning that Mr. Bird has been accepted. We knew that if someone had told us it was only a wait list spot in the beginning Mr. Bird would not have interviewed there. God works in mysterious was. We are very excited to begin our adventure together. I will continue to work for the same company doing social media remotely. It is an exciting time, bring on the heat (literally) and the scorpions!

Wedding Day

It’s been over two months since I married Mr. Bird. Things are settling down…Just kidding, I don’t think that will happen for the next seven-ten years. So I promised that I would share some things from my wedding day. I decided I would get it done at least before our 1 year anniversary. Our wedding day was perfect. We were surrounded by family and friends. We were sealed in the Boise, Idaho Temple at 10:30 by Grandpa Ray Bird. After the sealing, we had a wonderful lunch in. Mr. Birds brothers gave me a pearl necklace to welcome me to the family. They are smart men! My siblings did a whole speech which include the use of hashtags, just cause they know I love them. The whole week my sister Emily had been trying to get me to tear up and it just wasn’t happening. Before her wedding, she bawled… I finally shed a tear when they all started singing “Where you lead” a the Gilmore Girl theme song. That show means more than the mindless banter that is thrown around, it was a show I grew up on, I bonded with my sisters and family over, and it was where I learned how to be best friends with my mom. My siblings and in-laws said just the right things. Both of our dads gave a toast and we were thrilled. I was so happy to share the day with all of my family, mission friends and college friends. I was even excited that two of my three childhood best friends were able to come! Later that day we had a reception and were humbled to be supported by so many. We enjoyed Sub-Zero ice cream and a Greg Marsh Cake. My flowers were done by Blooms Flower Studio, it was her first time doing a wedding bouquet and it all turned out beautiful. My dress was from a consignment store and I wouldn’t change a thing. I got it for $300 with no alterations needed from Revolve. We had our reception at the Esther Simplot Performing Academy.  I had literally the cutest invitations and sign in board because of Diana Tueller. Overall, it was the perfect day 🙂 The perfect day was capture by Tara Jensen, I am so happy with how my pictures turned out!




rings 2

icecake 2



bird boys











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