The Two Questions to Stop Asking Women

1606348_10204076942700462_2556663616494677616_oI have been off the grid for a while. I apologize. I spend most of my time on social media sites throughout the day for work, and when I am done, it is hard to bring myself to get back on when I should be spending time with my husband. Mr. Bird is in medical school and it is a rarity to see him these days. Today, I want to address something that has been bothering me as of late.  When Mr. Bird and I started dating I posted pictures on Instagram and to Facebook so I could document our relationship. I thought, well if this guy eventually asks me to marry him we are going to need an awesome wedding video #girlthoughts. That was my motive. These pictures led to questions after only two months of dating…. They were all questions about when we were going to be married. At this point in our relationship I knew very little about him…which was okay, it was still early. Don’t get me wrong, I was already thinking about marriage myself, but the more people asked the more I wanted it. I mean an unmarried 24-year-old, college graduate living in her parents house, it didn’t look good, and people were worried…I get it… But I started to become envious of those in that stage in life and wasn’t “living in the moment.” Two nights before Mr. Bird proposed to me we got into a disagreement. It was about how he hadn’t proposed yet. All I could think was I want to be engaged and I want people to stop asking the question “when are you getting married.” Two nights later, he surprised me at the train depot with a candle lit path lined in white roses and pictures of us. If you ask me, it was perfect. Finally I could post it to the world and no one would ever ask me that question again… (besides what the day was)

The week after Mr. Bird and I were married we settled back into our “normal” lives. With only one week of marriage under our belt, people started asking when we were going to have kids. I didn’t even have an entire month to enjoy being a newlywed. I started worrying about it. I though oh no, we are just getting use to being married and now we are expected to have kids! At this point, it never occurred to me that I could ignore these people.

Now before I continue, I want to make sure you all know… I am not innocent in this aspect. I asked these questions to so many about when they were getting married and when they would have kids. I have made the decision that I will no longer ask these questions. We are so easy to ask questions not considering the person’s background or circumstance. When a “cookie cutter” Mormon couple has a long engagement or are waiting to get married maybe there are things that they are taking care of and have to wait. That scenario would already be painful enough, we don’t want to burden them any further.

I followed Andy from How to Lose a Guy in 10 days, this is our future child even with glasses!

I followed Andy from How to Lose a Guy in 10 days, this is our future child even with glasses!

As for kids… If I had a dollar for every time I heard “when are you having kids” or “you wouldn’t know, you don’t have kids” (that’s the worst) I would literally be able to pay next months electricity bill. When you ask the question or simply state that people without kids don’t understand, it merely rolls off your tongue and is forgotten within minutes. To the receiver of the statement it resonates for much longer. I want to share with you a #reallife event. A few weeks ago I went to an event where I was the only one without kids (this is now my normal) which I have learned to enjoy, I get to hold all the cute babies and I don’t have to take them home! However I left this event feeling like I was worth nothing because I had not  yet reproduced. At the event I was even refereed to as the free babysitter while I was left out of the “adult” conversation and reminded multiple times that “I wouldn’t know, I don’t have kids.” I mean come on! I have been married almost 7 months, if we wanted to have a child it wouldn’t even be here yet. I know that their intentions were not to hurt my feelings, but I couldn’t help but feel worthless. I felt that I had no identity, no personality, and nothing of worth because I didn’t have a baby on my hip and the warrior like stretch marks covering my stomach. So obviously I called my mom and she managed to talk me up! We joked about all the things I could say… My favorite being “You wouldn’t know, you have kids.” She taught me such a valuable lesson, love where you are in life and live it. Life will continue and kids will come along when it’s time.

I suggest that my readers consider not asking these questions anymore. I mean it’s okay to ask your sisters that’s like a basic human right, but refrain from asking those you meet in your day. We never know what is going on behind the scenes. We don’t know if a couple has experienced a miscarriage, we don’t know if they have problems with fertility, we don’t know their lives! If us childless women want to talk about it, trust me we will bring it up and ask you questions.

As I finish this post, I don’t want you all to leave thinking Clare is upset or unhappy. If I have hung out with you recently PLEASE don’t sit and run our past conversations through your mind, it’s not worth it…We all know that I am over-sensitive. I have moved on and relished in the fact I can stay up all night playing Settlers of Catan without interruption. If you said something, I can promise you I am over it. The truth is I am so happy where I am in life. I am a newlywed. I get my best friend to myself. I may be baby hungry, but what woman with an active Pinterest account is not…


(C)LVB2014

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We Are Conditioned.

Last week I wrote about “cutting corners.” All week I have been thinking about that personality trait I had. It has inspired me to try new things. Mr. Bird has been patient with this new trend of mine. Yesterday I felt particularity apt to trying something new in the kitchen. During #clotts last date night we spotted a Zupas and decided it would be better to go into debt then pass this up (just kidding, but almost). We tried a few of the soups and I fell in love with the Mushroom Bisque. I decided I would one day master this soup and make it dairy free. After I finished work yesterday I went to the beloved Winco and picked up the ingredients I needed to make the soup. The recipe looked a little advanced for someone who still burns Ramen Noodles, but that didn’t scare me. When I got home, the mess, I mean cooking, began. I spent an hour and twenty minutes putting together this gourmet soup. I soaked the mushrooms in a separate bowl and used the left over mushroom juice as an ingredient just like the recipe said. I was so proud of myself for following the recipe thus far… I melted the butter, mixed it in with the garlic and onion and poured in the chicken broth. I heard Mr. Bird yell from the other room that it smelled delightful. In my mind I thought, what a cute husband, he took a break out of his super busy study schedule to tell me that my cooking smelt good. I think he has picked up on the fact I need compliments if he wants me to keep feeding him.

While the soup was simmering, I broke out the tomatoes and basil and began making some brushetta for a side dish, because men like multiple dishes of food for a meal. Last night I learned that you make side dishes to feed your husband when the main dish fails. After the soup had simmered for 30 minutes it was time to stir in my homemade dairy free whipping cream. This is where things got a little experimental. I had used my 2% lactose free milk, butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla as a substitute. It didn’t change the taste too much, but it was lacking the thick consistency. I thought oh well, Mr Bird can handle soup that’s a little runny. He came into the kitchen as I was trying to clean up some of the dishes so we could play Yahtzee (a dinner tradition) through dinner without me being distracted. Mr. Bird tasted the soup and said it needed a little more salt. I gave him the go ahead to add a little to the pot. About 45 seconds later, he turned around and said “Well I ruined it.” He had poured in about a cup of salt… I just started laughing. I tasted it too and it was ruined. He looked at me and asked if I was mad. I will say that for about 2 seconds I was and then I realized it was just food. We had a good laugh for about 20 minutes. We had cereal and brushetta for dinner. Throughout the night we continued to laugh about the whole ordeal.

There are many life lessons I could get out of this event, like the stomach pain might be worth the dairy, don’t pick recipes with too many directions, and life is too short to be upset, especially when it comes to your marriage or partner. He kept asking all night if I was mad at him. We are a people who are conditioned to think that when something goes wrong that someone has to be MAD. It is okay to make mistakes, that is how we learn. If we become too afraid to try something new because we fear a mistake is at the end, we will no longer try. This event didn’t scare me away from trying new things, it only made me want to try more.


(C)LVB-2014

Cutting Corners

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I thought I knew myself. I thought I knew everything about myself. I know I enjoy television shows. I know I enjoy pumpkin ice cream. I know that I don’t like my towel to touch the toilet. After five months of marriage, I have learned more about myself than in the previous 23 years of my life (don’t worry not in a bad way). Marriage includes living with someone 24/7 and sharing EVERYTHING with them. Your first few weeks of marriage are an adjustment that end up being an exciting adventure. I remember in my Senior Capstone Communication class we learned about Tenacity. It is something I will never forget. It is about “tradition” or persistence in doing something. John Sieter told the story of the pot roast. When “Jane” left home and cooked her first pot roast for her husband she cut the end off of it and threw it away, because that is what her mom did. Years later, her mom came for dinner and asked why she had cut the end of the roast off. The daughter replied, with “well that’s what you did.” The mother, laughing, replied with, “I only cut if off, because it didn’t fit in my pan!” Tenacity. We do things the way we see them done, monkey see monkey do. When you get married, you are combining two sets of tradition. You go into it thinking YOUR way is the best because that was what you grew up with.

Mr. Bird and I have seen tenacity when it comes to cooking. When I began cooking for him, I would come up with a meal that I thought was perfect… It included a small piece of meat and one side dish. Mr. Bird played along with this willingly until he confided in me he was still hungry. He explained to me that a meal to him included meat, vegetables, maybe fruit or bread. I had been so use to my tradition of eating rice with butter and soy sauce in college and then a large dessert, that our definitions of meals were different. I laughed out loud. I was only a few weeks into marriage and I was already starving my husband.

IMG_4387Something else I have learned about myself, is my willingness to cut corners. I believe in getting a job done and doing it as fast as I can so I can move on. I am a quick fix it kind of person. Mr. Bird is the complete opposite. He is so good at paying attention to every detail and doing something right the first time and with success. Our tendencies have both pros and cons. For me when it comes to cooking, I get bored of using the exact ingredients and measurements. I decided to make up a recipe one night and it was DELIGHTFUL. Mr. Bird and I loved it. The next time I tried to make it, it was completely different, I hadn’t written anything down… I cut corners. Mr. Bird on the other hand does not (and I LOVE it). Another example of my cutting corners would be that last shelf I assembled… I was so excited and wanted to get it done as fast as I could so I could start putting stuff on it, that I put some of the shelves upside down, and when I realized it my thought was “Ain’t nobody got time for that,” so I left it. During the first few weeks of marriage it was his job to clean the bathroom. To me cleaning the bathroom is spending like 10 minutes tidying up and wiping things down. Mr. Bird goes all out. He would take everything out of the bathroom, sanitize everything, scrub the bathroom from top to bottom. It was a piece of art when he was done with it. All I can say is, we balance one another well.

After being married awhile, you learn how to work the system. This is bad, and Mr. Bird knows it. But when I want something to be deep cleaned, I tend to leave it a little too dirty for his taste. That is when he goes into detail mode and cleans the room head to toe. Just kidding, it doesn’t work like that but wouldn’t that be nice? Those are only two things I have learned in the past 5 months being Mrs. Bird. It has been an adventure, and I have loved every minute.


(C)LVB-2014

Forever Young.

IPHONE JULY 2013 126There must be something in the water here in Arizona, or maybe it is the lack of water, but I feel like I am Benjamin Button. I left Boise thinking I am a full-grown adult, I have a husband, and I finally look my age. Well this was a joke. I still do not look my age. I don’t know if it is my lack of enthusiasm when it comes to wearing makeup these days (it’s cheaper not to), or if it is my height (same since 6th grade), or continually diminishing body weight (#giproblems). I have had a cornucopia of interactions since we moved to AZ that has reaffirmed to me that I will be forever young.

My first Sunday in Relief Society I felt shy. Something I don’t usually feel. I quickly chose a seat. I was easily hidden behind the “adult sized” women in front of me. A few minutes later the sister missionaries sat down next to me. As the meeting started and as they introduced everyone, I was mistaken as a sister missionary. Now in this situation, I can understand the misunderstanding. I was a sister missionary just a few years ago, so somewhat understandable… Don’t worry, I got over this one pretty quickly. I did receive some satisfaction out of running up and kissing my husband right after class… I think that made some of the fellow sisters wince 🙂

The second event took place at none other than COSTCO. I guess in the workers defense, everything comes in bulk there, and I am in no way “bulk.” I grabbed my shopping cart and walked through the large opening and showed my OWN Costco (what teenage owns one of those?). I put my first item in the cart, and decided to use my calculator app on my phone to track how much money I was going to lose that day. As I looked down, an employee (maybe 21) came up to me and asked if I was lost, and if I had come shopping with my parents. I was in awe. I can understand that I don’t look 24, but I don’t look like I need adult supervision!

The third event happened yesterday. I had new neighbors moving in and they had two teenage girls. The mom looked like she needed help, so I offered to carry in some boxes. She said great, my girls could use some friends! I didn’t think twice about her comment, until she asked me how old I was. This isn’t usually something someone asks right away. I replied with 24, I live down stairs with my husband! She laughed hysterically, like I was kidding. She said there is no way, you have to be 14…

These comments will flatter me in a couple of years, but right now they drive me nuts. I can’t imagine the dirty looks I will get when I eventually get pregnant. I am sure many mothers will turn to their daughters and whisper in the grocery store, “maybe we will see her on teen mom.” Okay, now that my forever young rant is over…. Does anyone else have this happen all of the time?

4 Things About Arizona

I have been quite for a while so I apologize. I have been in the midst of a life change that included a lot of planning, packing, and driving. Mr. Bird and I packed up our 18 foot Budget truck and started the trek to Glendale Arizona. We were lucky to have family members help us pack up. On the drive to AZ, I realized how lucky we had been to be surrounded by our families. It will be sad to not be able to stop by my parent’s house and say hi to all of the kids, we will miss Sunday dinners with our families, and the cooler weather 🙂

There are a few things I have learned since moving to Arizona…

cactu1. Don’t touch the cacti…

Mr. Bird and I were stopped in Kingman city when a random man came up to us and said your tired is about to blog (on the rental truck dolly) so we had to take a time out while they worked with Budget and got the tires changed. While this was happening, Mr. Bird and I were glad to do a little exploring in the literal desert. I had found my first cactus it was a flat one and looked dead. Without thinking, I picked up the leaf and started to examine it. At first I had forgotten what covered the outer layer, but was quickly reminded. After giving a little “yelp” and dropping the cactus, and a lizard ran in front of me, I looked down to find my fingers covered in prick-lies. I learned the lesson of, even if it looks cool don’t touch it…

2. Everything Melts…

Mr. Bird and I thought that death was imminent with the heat surrounding our thick blooded bodies while moving. We got in the car and decided popsicles would be the only solution. We picked out the most delectable flavors including pina colda, mango, and banana. We put them in the backseat, and within the 5 minute drive home, they had melted. So apparently it’s a thing to take a cooler to the store.

3. Waterholic

I am not used to drinking water. I don’t really enjoy it. Prior to living in AZ, I would drink maybe a glass and a half a day. Now I feel like an addict, carrying one around just to keep cool. So if I am not sweating, then I am probably running to the bathroom.

4. Color

There is none. There is literally no colors here. At first I was wondering if I was stuck in The Giver… Arizona has three colors Brown, Tan, and Rust Red. This is something I will have to get used to!

We have been warmly welcomed by ward members and have already been to someone’s house for dinner, and another house for games! We have been invited to dinner again tomorrow night, I have been searching for the perfect housewarming cactus to leave.

 

Wedding Day

It’s been over two months since I married Mr. Bird. Things are settling down…Just kidding, I don’t think that will happen for the next seven-ten years. So I promised that I would share some things from my wedding day. I decided I would get it done at least before our 1 year anniversary. Our wedding day was perfect. We were surrounded by family and friends. We were sealed in the Boise, Idaho Temple at 10:30 by Grandpa Ray Bird. After the sealing, we had a wonderful lunch in. Mr. Birds brothers gave me a pearl necklace to welcome me to the family. They are smart men! My siblings did a whole speech which include the use of hashtags, just cause they know I love them. The whole week my sister Emily had been trying to get me to tear up and it just wasn’t happening. Before her wedding, she bawled… I finally shed a tear when they all started singing “Where you lead” a the Gilmore Girl theme song. That show means more than the mindless banter that is thrown around, it was a show I grew up on, I bonded with my sisters and family over, and it was where I learned how to be best friends with my mom. My siblings and in-laws said just the right things. Both of our dads gave a toast and we were thrilled. I was so happy to share the day with all of my family, mission friends and college friends. I was even excited that two of my three childhood best friends were able to come! Later that day we had a reception and were humbled to be supported by so many. We enjoyed Sub-Zero ice cream and a Greg Marsh Cake. My flowers were done by Blooms Flower Studio, it was her first time doing a wedding bouquet and it all turned out beautiful. My dress was from a consignment store and I wouldn’t change a thing. I got it for $300 with no alterations needed from Revolve. We had our reception at the Esther Simplot Performing Academy.  I had literally the cutest invitations and sign in board because of Diana Tueller. Overall, it was the perfect day 🙂 The perfect day was capture by Tara Jensen, I am so happy with how my pictures turned out!

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(C)LVB2014

Succor for Camping

wifelife greenWhen you get married you promise to love someone and support them. When I married Mr. Bird I promised him I would try out things he liked to do, and in return he would try out things I like to do. Well a few weeks ago, I fulfilled my promise.  As many of you know, I retired from hiking after my 50 mile hike through the White Cloud Mountains. It was a traumatic experience that left me rolling down a the mountain side, stuck and couldn’t get up because my pack was so heavy, and I was covered in scrapes and scratches from head to toe. In my mind, I fell gracefully… Everyone else, especially my brother who was filming it, suggested I was flailing helplessly like a turtle stuck on it’s back. After those “glory days” my fascination with the outdoors began to diminish. I pictured my future taking weekend vacations at spa’s, cabins, or even a full on hotel. There have been very few times I have pictured myself camping… However, when I said yes to Mr. Bird on our wedding day, I said yes to camping. It was about three weeks ago, when he approached me about camping. He said it would be fun, and he said there would be a bathroom. Only one of those things were true… As we drove to the Succor Creek camping ground in Oregon, it rained. It wasn’t the kind of rain that reassured you it will be gone in just a few minutes, but the kind that is obnoxiously obedient in following Mother Natures directions to “pour.” I was determined though to come out on top of camping just like Phyllis did, a housewife gone troop leader in Troop Beverly Hills (great film).  When we got to the campground we were stunned, it was full! It was like some R.V family reunion or redneck convention,  I am sure. I don’t know why so many people decided “Hey let’s go camping, it will be fun in the rain!” So we decided to continue searching for a place… We found one about 2 miles down the road. It was pretty, and green! I would say almost as green as Ireland, but I’ve never been. We pulled over and started to set up camp. One of the two promises Mr. Bird gave me was that there would be a bathroom. Well, that promise was broken… I became a wilderness survivor doing my “business” in the woods. It wasn’t the end of the world though. We set up my tent that I had received as a gift about 4 years ago and had never used. BUCKET LIST! Mr. Bird was a wonderful husband and began to dig a small trench around the tent so that water wouldn’t seep under the tent. The rain cleared up for a while and so we played some Spikeball, roasted smore’s, and then hit up our friends wifelife mountaincar tent and played phase ten with dice. It turned out to be a pleasant night! Mr. Bird and I retired to our tent, and that is when things took a turn for the worse (total Oregon Trail reference). It was freezing, I was in my down sleeping bag with a quilt and a husband and I was still cold. It was a long night on the cold hard ground, but it made me grateful for the bed I do have! The next morning we made breakfast burritos and then decided it was time to explore. Even though it included some mild hiking, it was fun. We were in such a beautiful place that it would have been a sin to not explore. We climbed to the top of the mountain side next to camp (okay, most people would say hill, but it’s my story). The view was breathtaking, and worth the little energy I exerted that reminded me how out of shape I am. After messing around for a while, we made it back to camp and headed back into civilization. I was exhausted, but I had fun. It was fun to see my husband in his element, to know with a surety we would survive the zombie apocalypse with his mad skills. Would I go camping again? Yes I would, I only had a few demands after that trip and they were a better sleeping pad and good weather. The sleeping pad has been purchased and we are planning to go next when it isn’t raining 🙂 Marriage has taught me to try new things and to step out of my comfort zone. It is important to share interests and with a positive attitude, I may have used some sarcasm in this post, but I did enjoy camping…and will enjoy it more when it’s warm.

 

(C)LVB-2014

I Know Everthing

The other day one of my dear friends posted as his Facebook status: “I love when my friends get married or have a kid and immediately they know everything there is to life! Seriously I love it it’s hilarious!!!” Don’t worry this blog post is not defending the idea that when you get married you know everything… Honestly, I think it is quite the opposite. I would gladly accept a virtual slap across the face or poke if I thought this. It would show how naive I was and might indicate I needed some humble pie (you can get the recipe from Pinterest or great one from the book The Help). I have recently received feedback about how “honest” I am on my blog. Some have said you didn’t have to share that silly thing you said, you could have gotten away with not knowing that New Mexico was indeed a state. I say, why hide it. It’s okay, I am an imperfect person who is constantly learning. So today I want to share with you a few things that can testify that I don’t know everything when it comes to marriage or being a wife.

Hosting a Gathering

As a newlywed, I looked forward to hosting the perfect first get together to show off my domestic skills. The time was ripe to host. We decided that we could entertain our guests by making them homemade ice cream with our new machine. I rushed to Trader Joe’s after work and picked up the stuff for the recipe. Mr. Bird had put the bowl in the freezer during lunch so we thought we were ready. We quickly tidied up the house and got the ice cream mix ready. We put it in the machine and turned it on to do its magic. Our guests had even brought over candy to put into the ice cream. We crushed them up and got them ready to go. While we waited for the ice cream to become ice cream we played ticket to ride. Mr. Bird would occasionally check the ice cream’s progress. Let’s just say there wasn’t any. I started laughing and thought this would happen. My first get together, my first big hosting as a wife, and I had failed. I wasn’t too shocked, I have come to learn not to always trust my cooking skills.

Dinner for Four

IMG_4048Mr. Bird and I decided it would be nice to have each set of parents over for dinner. We wanted to thank them for putting so much time, effort, and money into our beautiful wedding. Mr. Bird’s parents came over for dinner and the evening was delightful. My famous chocolate chip cookies were a hit, they were even eating them before dinner. We made them “homemade” spaghetti, I say “homemade” because I thought if you added stuff to the jar stuff it made it homemade. Apparently that is not how it works… The dinner with the Bird’s was very uneventful in terms of cooking mishaps, which I was grateful. You know, first time trying to impress the in-laws, you do not want to mess up! We had a wonderful evening full of laughter and conversation. We even got them to play ticket to ride! I have enjoyed getting to know the Bird’s and am grateful I am part of the Bird Family.

IMG_4060A week later we decided it was time to have my parents over. I had picked out the perfect recipe and it even had said it was “easy.”  It was broccoli and beef Chinese Food style. It was my time to show of my #wifelife and impress them with who I was becoming. Thursday morning I woke up 30 minutes early to get it all ready and put it in the crock pot. I left for work hoping it would turn out. That morning I got called into Jury Duty and was told I may not even be done until 9pm or 10pm. That wouldn’t put a damper on the night since dinner was supposed to be at 6:30pm…(sarcasm) I was able to sway the jury and turn the case into a two-day trial, and so I rushed home. I came home to a full crock pot of burnt beef. Seriously? My parents would be showing up in 45 minutes and I was not about to break one of my parents crowns on rock hard beef. Mr. Bird humored me and tasted it… We decided to make crunch wrap supreme tacos instead. We had one tomato, I started to cut it up, when the cutting board tilted (#minkitchenprobs) and the tomato went down the front of my work clothes and to the ground. After consoling me and encouraging me Mr. Bird ran to the store while I browned the meat. The meal was a hot mess… The idea was to do something “easy” so we could sit and enjoy my parents company. Throughout the night we were all in and out of our mini kitchen pitching in. It was a hot mess. All I could do is laugh though. We had a great time with my parents, it goes to show that food is not always the key ingredient to an event, it’s the people!

So as you can see those are just a few examples of how I don’t know everything. I am positive that there will be more and even excited to learn from my mistakes. Marriage in itself is fun, but all of it is a learning experience. When he put a ring on it, that ring didn’t come with magical powers, it came with a life together of learning through trial and error. The only thing that will get you through it is patience, but mostly a sense of humor!

#WifeLife

I was under the impression that when a woman became a wife she would inherit some sort of super natural powers (just like moms get when they have kids). To my discouragement this did not happen! I woke up to find no cape had been left, no shield, no freakishly powerful bow staff… As this disappointment sunk in, I turned to see my husband sleeping and remembered how much I loved him, that’s when I knew I could rock the #WifeLife.

CookingIt has been exactly 12 days since we got married and all I can say is so far so good ( I think… you would have to ask Mr. Bird on that one). In my reign as wife I have only set the fire alarm off 3 times, it is not my fault that the alarm is super touchy. I didn’t even burn anything, black is just my favorite color so I like to include it in some of my meals, duh… I wanted to impress Mr. Bird and so I decided to start out with a meal with tilapia that looked “complicated” but really wasn’t. It turned out fine and Mr. Bird said he enjoyed it. It wasn’t until I was chit chatting with my sister the next day that I realized I had left out one of the major ingredients, the butter in the sauce. Now the health nut in me could just say I was trying to save us calories, but everyone and their dog knows I am trying to gain weight. So I will just come out and be honest, ya I forgot it, he didn’t starve though! As you can see we have a mini kitchen, and since I am short it is most convenient to put a bench in the middle so I can reach everything. Not to toot my own horn but I have definitely come through on my strengths in my mini kitchen and baked a few batches of cookies, he does enjoy that!

I would say that being a wife does change a few things. You are becoming a new person, trying to mold your old identity in with the new. We were sitting in church on Sunday and they announced that they were excited for Mr. and Mrs. Bird to have moved in. I was excited too, I was looking around to see who they were, when I realized it was me. I was Mrs. Bird. It was the first time in my entire life someone had pronounced my last name right and I didn’t even realize it was mine to enjoy.

I am sure you will hear plenty about the #wifelife from me! I am loving every second of it, and wouldn’t want to have embarked this journey with anyone other than Mr. Bird. When I get my amazing wedding pictures back, I will describe the day and share those moments. It was the perfect fairy tale wedding that went way too fast.

(C)LVB 2014

Getting My M.R.S

IMG_3898I remember in elementary school when I would lay on the bottom bunk bed with my blue and white starred comforter thinking about the day I would get married. I had so many ideas to make my wedding day the best day in all the lands. I had planned a huge bonfire in the backyard for roasting marshmallows and a slip in slide for the guests. I would wear a white swim suit with rhinestones spelling out BRIDE on the behind. I had the idea to rent out a movie theater and have the infamous “line” go directly into a movie theater of their choice. Obviously, I thought about it a lot. I have had 24 years to think about all of the details. Often that is how I would fall asleep, is dreaming about the extravagant wedding that I would have one day.

Last night I sat in the family room with my mother and sisters and they watched me open up my “wedding capsule.” We had made them for young woman’s in 2004 when I was 14 years old, such a great idea. It was full of magazine clippings of what I wanted my wedding to look like, the groom’s qualifications, the cake, and the ring. It was so fun to see how I swayed from the extreme wedding plans, because once I met Mr. Bird, none of that matter, only he did. It doesn’t matter that the shades of coral don’t match just right and that yellow is the color everyone hates with a passion. It is not going to be the end of the world when someone gets upset because they can’t find a parking spot. I know I will be very anxious and so my stomach will probably hurt all day, but still that doesn’t matter. What I have come to learn is that what matters the most is being able to be sealed in the Temple for all TIME and ETERNITY. It is definitely the scariest decision both Mr. Bird and I have ever made, but it will be one that blesses us every day until forever.

IMG_3966In my “wedding capsule” there were two letters, one from me and one from my mom. I read mine out loud and there were parts that I couldn’t stop laughing, I had specifically stated that I needed to make sure to not make my husband jealous of me, and that we needed to have kids as fast as we could “no matter the cost,”  whatever that means. What I loved most was my past self saying how I needed to get married in the temple, and that I needed a man worthy to enter. It’s funny that at such a young age we are taught those things. As I look back today, I am so happy that I learned that young. There were years when I thought it would be easier to forgo a Temple wedding to satisfy my temporal needs and the Gospel wouldn’t do much for my family. I realize now, the sealing and the Gospel in my family means everything. I want to run back to my 14-year-old self and let her know, I did it, I made it to the Temple.

My mom read her letter out loud. It almost brought tears to my eyes, I say almost because it totally made my sister Emily bawl. She gave me great advice and said that the day of your wedding will be a hectic one, it will be one of stress and of happiness, but the most important part would be the sealing. I couldn’t agree more mom and dad, thanks for preparing me.

Tomorrow all of my friends and family will begin to pour in and the festivities will start. I can already imagine an impromptu dance party in the family room, loud arguments/discussions between family members, and a fun late night. Saturday will come quickly and the day will pass in a minute. I will be surrounded by my favorite people, and will realize how blessed I truly am. The best part of getting sealed is that we will be together forever no matter what. I will never regret looking at that “BYU” boy and saying hello to him, because now I will never have to say good-bye.

(C)LV-B2014