Single Adulthood-It’s a Thing.

My first encountering with a working woman wasn’t until I was older. I was a lucky kid, my parents had it worked out so that my mom could stay at home and raise the six hellions. She was with us constantly, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Growing up, I thought that I would be in a similar situation to my mother’s. I would be married young,I would have lots and lots of babies, and I would enjoy spending time with my family. I wouldn’t be working. It’s not that working was a bad thing, but it was the only thing I had seen at this point in my life.

Single.When I graduated from college I realized that was not going to be the plan for me. I wasn’t married, I wasn’t even close, I mean I had Tinder but it was getting me nowhere. I couldn’t be a stay at home mom with no kids, that’s just creepy. I was in shock, reality had finally seeped into my life and I realized I was going to become a “working girl” (not a street corner one, but a business one). My first thoughts of becoming a working girl where ones of anxiety and worry, but all of these fears have now been shattered. I left college and I got a job. At first I felt disappointed in myself, because I had wanted to become a mom, that is in no way a secret, and thought that my singleness was my fault (it probably was). I forged a new path, I have become a business woman- I wear work pants. I work 8-5. I have PTO. I have a desk. I have clients. I have a 401(k). I just finished my first book launch, it was an adventure and I loved every minute of it. I am working with a new client and am setting up a social media scope of work for them. If you would have set this scenario up for me 10 years ago I would have laughed, it was something that I couldn’t even imagine at the time. I would have thought, it sounds great but it’s not in my plan!

Plans change. It’s a thing.

In the culture I live in, getting married and having children signifies actual adulthood. I am 24, not married (yet…), and am rarely recognized as an adult. It can be frustrating and limiting if you focus on it. Since graduating college I have tried my best to not let my ringless hand limit me. Marriage is something of worth and should be sought after at the right time for you. Until you reach that time in life don’t limit yourself, live a life that you can be proud of, that when you do get married you can look back and have no regrets. There might be some who don’t ever have the chance to be married. don’t let that hold you back either, there are so many great things to be done that can impact many.

Okay perhaps it was a ranting post, but you get the point šŸ™‚

 

Mormon Culture: I’ve Got a Feeling…

looking down the tunnelAs a #TrueMillennial sometimes it is hard to feel like a real adult. Perhaps we would act more adult like if we were treated that way. Last night I attended a Young SINGLE Adult ward activity. Don’t get me wrong, the activity was well planned and the people in attendance were all pleasant. I just am usually not too big on these, the forced interaction until you find someone of the opposite sex to shove that eternal cake into their face on your wedding day, it just doesn’t get me fired up. I am even dating someone currently and was not boy-hunting at the event and felt uncomfortable. The “chaperones” of the night were constantly walking through the gym, not talking to us, but monitoring us, doing hand checks. I mean honestly, if I was going to get frisky with a boy, do you think I would come to a church event to do it, let alone come to the event at all? I completely understand that my choices affect my future. To be fair, not all of our “chaperones” did this, but I feel that many activities are like this and seem to be the common theme. I remember reading a blog post a year ago on this very topic (I can’t remember which one) that went on to describe this concept: How can we be expected to do adult things like choose to get married and have a family, when we are not treated in a way that can facilitate it. I had mentioned this to my boyfriend and he brought up the point, it won’t change it’s Mormon Culture.This is not meant to be a rant against the Mormon culture. There are many who have adapted to it and enjoy it. If there is anyone out there like me, it is hard to be treated like a teen or child just because you are not married. Sometimes I wonder if our current culture hinders us rather than helps us. While serving a mission in Palmyra, all of the site sister met in the temple. The temple president said to us, many of you might not marry, prepare for that, prepare to provide for yourself. This is something that not only shocked me, but many other sisters. As I graduated college, ring-less might I add, I realized that the life of a spinster might be in my future. I started to prepare to provide for myself. I have a college degree, served an LDS mission, have a full-time job with benefits, and own a 39” smart television and Kitchen Aid… I am an adult, what else do you need? I want to date like an adult. So that if marriage becomes an option I am prepared to handle it like an adult. When you go through the ups and downs of marriage, making blanket forts and going to chaperoned dances will not be the answer, still a fun activity to do, but will not help with the trials that come your way. If we can’t be trusted to handle ourselves without stepping over a boundary at a church event, how are we expected to have a successful and faithful marriage? Am I the only one who feels this way? Just some thoughts….

 

(Read it lightly, I did use some sarcasm, (C)LV2013)

“Women Should…”

Women ShouldMy friend Rica sent me this article and said I should write a blog on it. I was thoroughly disappointed with my results upon my experimentation of using Google Auto-complete. I don’t know what upset me more the picture included in the article or what I found when I went to Google and started to type in “Women Should…” The results matched just what the article had said:

“Women should not speak in church”

“Women should be seen and not heard”

“Women should not work”

The article even went on to say that the algorithm is constantly being tweaked but the results are not better:

“Women need to shut up”

“Women shouldn’t go to college”

The question now is, is this Google driven, or are they really the most popular search items? All I can say is, “Women Should…” do what they want! We are strong and powerful. We have things to do in this world. We must continue to voice our opinions and live our lives. Don’t let the biases dictate your outcomes. What are your thoughts on this?Ā 

p.s Google “Men Should…”

 

 

PART OF THE RISE OF MY GENERATION

Ā NYRM Missionary Clare VaterlausI can distinctly remember when my 7th grade teacher explained that when we grew up most of our careers would be jobs that didn’t exist today. It was mind boggling as I tried to wrap my head around the new concept, but all I could think was I want to be in one of those jobs. The rise of the social media profession has reached a new level and will continue to grow. In a recent study from LinkedIn it showed that there has been a 1,357 percent increase in social media positions posted on LinkedIn since 2010. I am part of the rise. I started my career as a blogger when I was in the LDS pilot mission for internet proselyting in Rochester, New York. We were encouraged to use both Facebook and blogs to reach those of our faith and of other beliefs. I used well known LDS bloggers as my inspiration: Al Fox, (who was baptized in my mission, known as the tattooed Mormon), NieNie (a brave plane crash survivor), and even the now abandoned Seriously So BlessedĀ  blog. It was such an adventure as I continued to blog and see the number of views rise. It was a feeling that I anticipated more than opening presents on Christmas morning. I remember thinking to myself, if only this was a job…

When I returned from New York, I realized that this could be a job! I started Clare Vaterlaus Alaska Social Media Consultantto focus my time on learning the ins and outs of Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Reddit, Tumblr, Instagram…the list goes on… so that I could turn this into something profitable. After a month, I received my first phone call to do some freelance blogging for a small company, and then another, and another. It was something I enjoyed. During the first month of my senior year of college I was approached by Don Reiman, a well-known business man in Boise, during one of my visits home. He had heard of my career goals and was interested in offering me an internship. I gladly accepted and started working for Echelon Group. I did about a 1 year internship (not on location) and then was hired on as a full time Social Media Consultant after graduating from Utah State. There were so many that helped me get here and believed in me, and I owe it to them. God works in mysterious ways, but He will use you and your talents in ways that fit you best. If I could go back and talk to my 7th grade teacher, I would have to tell her she was right, I found a career that once did not exist.

(Here is a cool infograph on the rise of the Social Profession)

rise-of-social-profession

A True Millennial

true mill I recently graduated from Utah State University with my Bachelors degree. I am a classic Millennial, definitely a narcissist, and not afraid of telling you that I am moving back into my parents house… At least it’s not the basement, it’s the top floor! Growing up, my dreams never included bunking it up with the rents again, but sometimes a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. I’m not necessarily lazy though. I do have my Netflix binges and Hulu hibernation’s, but when it comes to work all I can think of is the infamousĀ Rosie The Riveter and her phrase “We can do it.” I have accepted a full time job, a REAL BIG GIRL JOB. I get to work the classic 9-5 life style and wear the classy clothes. The position I have accepted allows me to drown myself in this ME ME ME Generation. I am a Social Media Manager, and will spend most of my day on the hit social networking sites that are said to be so time consuming…I hope they consume all of my time, time’s money! How I will SAVE all of you, I have no idea, when I have it figured out I will let you know.

Our Foundation is Firm, but is our Agency?

alllnj Today I had the opportunity to listen to General Conference. It is something that happens every 6 months, that the LDS faith participates in. Many of the talks were centered on the roles of a man and a women. I was happy that the church was clarifying these roles because of the beliefs that other women are conjuring up on their own. What I learned is that the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints is not one where the values are shifted because of popular belief, but it is a church that has built their foundation upon a rock. The laws and ordinances and the keys of the Priesthood have been fully restored to this earth. The church was officially reorganized at the Peter Whitmer Farm this day in 1830. I have been there, I have stood on that ground, and I have felt the spirit confirm to me, that this is the true church. I have been given a position and I need to exemplify it. I am not here to change God’s plans but to follow them with strict obedience. I feel the equality between men and women through God’s love and the blessings he provides. In the quote on my brother and sister-in-laws wedding photograph it says “The Gospel…is the only concern of the church.” The gospel is the ONLY CONCERN! We should be focusing on sharing this “good news” with others rather than debating our roles. We have been given an outline it is our turn to write the paper… In the end how we portray our roles will be judged by our loving Heavenly Father. All I can say is that if you feel concern about the roles we have been given as a man and a women, then study it out in your mind, pray about it, fast about it, and then trust God. God gives the commandments but he gives us the agency…How will you choose?

 

Newspaper Famous…

USU panel discusses women in STEM classesHere at Utah State I have had multiple opportunities to get involved. This was one of my favorites. I was invited to speak on a Panel of Women in STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, & Math). I don’t have a direct degree in any of these, but I do focus on Technology, in the Social Media Fields. We watched the film “Gender Chip Project,” which followed young women in college and the challenges they faced. I was able to share the challenges I faced while trying to break into Computer Science. Instead of waiting around for them to give me my power, I took my power and went a different direction. I loved being part of something that included my love for technology and women’s and gender studies. I was grateful for the opportunity, and encourage women to go for what they want! To never let something such as their sex hold them back, but do it and do it right! Check out the FRONT PAGE article here USU STEM PANEL …. Some of the information is wrong, bad journalism…. I work for Echelon Group Inc. in Boise Idaho.

Gendered From Birth

bubbleI am coming to the end of my final semester… Only 43 days until I get to put on the classic black robes and receive my degree. I am currently taking my last Women’s and Gender class so I can obtain a Certificate in the subject. Our assignment was to go find pictures and a create a media presentation to depict how we were gendered from birth. Everyone has a gender identity, and is who they are because of it. During Spring Break I was able to go through HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of photographs (my mother conned me into sorting through everyone’s-that 7 other peoples). It was fun to reminisce from childhood to now. I saw that my parents loved me, that my siblings and loved to play together. I found some classy pictures and edited them all and added some jazzy ones from the in.ter.net. Watch the video, see my past, check out my mullet, and see my skills… To my personal view of FEMINISM.

Skirts Are So Opressive…Said No One Ever

opĀ·presĀ·sive

/əĖˆpresiv/
Adjective
  1. Unjustly inflicting hardship and constraint, esp. on a minority or other subordinate group.

dressesI was in a deep sleep this morning when I received a text at such as ghastly hour, 9:00 am. After chastising my sister Emily for contacting me so early, I got to her question… “Are you wearing pants to church!” I had no idea what she was talking about. She directed me to a blog, and I was astounded as to the uproar against skirts at church. After reading all of the comments I came down stairs to enjoy a bowl of Cheerios, with my lactose free milk of course, to find an article in the Idaho Statesmen about the skirts. According to the definition of oppressive it would imply thatĀ Ā  skirts are a hardship or a constraint to wear at church. The actual nature of skirts allows you to be free. What pair of pants allows one to have fresh breeze tickling those inner thighs covered in stretch marks (no comment on size)…? None! I mean if you are so concerned that your legs are “naked” I can recommend some great places to buy some tights…So many options there, patterned, solid, colored, knee length, or tummy tuck, the sky is the limit here. So maybe what we need to look to this Sunday is WEAR TIGHTS TO CHURCH…. Not only do they allow the area down under to breath, but usually if you wear them right, you look hot, much hotter than you would in pants… If anything we should be pushing to look good.

 

I understand that there is a underlying message some women want to be sent. I am a feminist, I believe in equality, and I think we have strides to make. However when it comes to things of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints, there is not much we can change or that I would. I mean honestly, if you have a strong belief then you would understand that it is part of the plan, that was decided before we even came to earth. If you don’t understand the power and responsibility of the priesthood, of course you will never feel equal. We have each been given divine roles and we have been sent here to fulfill them…Whether you want to fulfill your role in pants or a skirt its up to you, it comes down to the real question do you have a testimony of the Priesthood…?

 

Curse of Being a Wallflower

I was flipping through the Utah Statesman when I found this gem. If you have seen the actual movie PERKS of Being a Wallflower you will understand that it was kind of a curse. I thought it was a great movie, for a hipster…It was definitely a heart wrenching tale of a boy with a past that comes out shockingly in the end. I would recommend seeing it with caution. The movie had some great twists and turns, and that is what I LOVE in a movie, so kudos to Chbosky. The movie is overflowing with modern day drama of a kid getting the crap kicked out of him for same sex attraction, and girl and boy problems, death, and than the major twist at the end. If you feel like a trooper go ahead a see it. All I could think during the whole movie is how we need to be kinder to those around us no matter who they are their and their life choices. We don’t have to make their life choices but we can treat them with kindness. For those who are friendless, the odd ones out, many may view you as a “curse” but don’t worry there is always going to be a “perk” behind the typo.