He Wasn’t a Last Minute Gift

December is a crazy month. I feel so much pjesusressure to get stuff done. Now “stuff” includes finishing my ever-growing must finish Christmas movie list, drinking a cup of hot chocolate while sitting on my porch in 75 degree weather, and finding the perfect gifts for e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. Finding THE perfect gift for someone can be a daunting task, especially when you are poorer than Tiny Tim from the Muppet’s Christmas Carol (Netflix must see). This is #Clott’s first Christmas and we are excited to establish some of our own traditions. We decided to start a daily Christmas scripture chain. Each day we read a few scriptures from the Old and New Testaments that focus on Christ. On our first day we read John 1: 1-5

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

 The same was in the beginning with God.

 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

After reading this clump of scriptures, Mr. Bird and I discussed them and I had a thought….We started talking about the Plan of Salvation and the knowledge that this world and everyone who has come and gone made the choice to come and experience life. I thought about how I made the decision to come to earth and started to laugh at some of the things I agreed to. I agreed to everything I would experience the good and the bad. I have had times in my life where I have felt that I couldn’t go on whether it be physically or emotionally and on the flip side I have had times where life was p.e.r.f.e.c.t. The “Negative Nancy” in my thought back to the harder times in my life and reflected on the only way I made it through, it was with the help of my Savior, Jesus Christ.

I continued to think about the scriptures and how they related to Christmas and the birth of our Savior. From the beginning, it was known that God would send his son to earth to die for us, to suffer all the pain and sins so that we could return to live with God one day. The birth of our Savior was not a last-minute gift. He wasn’t the product of a quick trip to the mall on Christmas Eve.Sometimes the best gifts are not hidden under festive wrapping paper and cellophane.  It was known from the beginning that he would be the Savior of the world. I had a profound sense of love fill my soul as I realized this. It reminded me of the true meaning of Christmas. I am humbled at the knowledge that because of this gift my family can be together forever.

As we enter the Christmas season and we are either elated or disappointed at the gifts we receive, remember you were already given the most important one.

Obama and Mormons

obamaI am in no way a political wiz. I should probably be more involved in what is going on in the world, but for me it has become to contentious of a subject. On Sunday, I attended Sunday School and the lesson was on “Good Leaders.” We began discussing good leaders throughout the church, from olden time prophets to modern-day prophets. The discussion then turned to good leaders outside of the church. Our teacher described a good leader with many characteristics. The first person that came to mind for me was obviously a fictional character, Dumbledore and by association Harry Potter. While that answer got a few chuckles, the next person mentioned created much controversy throughout the room… OBAMA.

I was shocked at the response from the class members. As class members started to nit-pick everything wrong about Obama and his actions, the teacher held his ground and kept reiterating that we were not in class to discuss how good our president is doing, and that our political beliefs are our own. There were many off-hand comments about Obama and his role as president. I won’t go into detail, but the room was full of people both for and against Obama. I tell you again, I am not a political wiz. I know maybe a fraction of what is going on around the world, but what I do know is that the Mormon church allows us to have our own political views.  On mormon.org the Church has a statement: “Principles compatible with the gospel are found in the platforms of all major political parties. While the Church does not endorse political candidates, platforms, or parties, members are urged to be full participants in political, governmental, and community affairs.” This statement reassured me that politics are important, and I should be better informed, and that I should be involved.

A few years ago I attended a summer camp called GIRLS STATE. It was an opportunity for me to spend a week with 100 girls from around Idaho and play “government.” Throughout the week, we recreated the government, we ran for offices, gave speeches, ran campaigns, and even passed laws. That week I ran for a position and didn’t get voted in. I had lost. At first I was upset. It took me a day or two to realize a lesson about leaders that I will never forget. Even if you don’t like your leader, you should show your support. This lesson has followed me through many things, student council, after school club, EFY, and even church callings. Sometimes I didn’t agree with my “leaders,” but what I had to remember was the importance of the bigger picture.

When it comes to Obama, I may not like everything he does. I don’t agree with him on a lot of things, but right now he represents our country and so I support him. I don’t know what he does all day, I don’t really know the behind the scenes of his life, but I do know that he has our country, America, in his hands. So I support him. I pray for him to make decisions that will better the country instead of rip him apart. I hope that he does well, because when he does well so does America. He is like any other human on this earth, he has agency and he will make mistakes just like you and me. He may or may not have been my choice, but my choice is to support America. number 12

(C)LVB-2014

 

The Temple Garments

modestyWhen it comes to the Mormon Temples a lot of people have questions and think it is a bunch of secrets. I have written about it before and you can read it here. I know this subject is sacred and so I will do my best to maintain that. I also am not pinpointing anyone in particular, just sharing some thoughts. Today I want to write a blog for those who have been through the LDS Temple or are preparing. I received my endowment in 2010. It was while I was still in college and was preparing to go on a mission. One of the things that happens when you go through the temple is you begin wearing special garments or underclothing. Many people refer to them as “g’s,” “special underwear,”  “my religion,” etc. I am always saddened when I hear those terms because I feel like it is degrading its sacredness. I don’t go around calling God my “homeboy,” I always use his name respectfully. My mother and the temple worker instructed me to not give such a sacred thing a degrading nick name, but to call it by name. Ever since, I have called them garments and have never lost sight of the meaning.

When my mom called me to talk about what day to go through the temple, my first thought was I should wait until after the Howl, the largest Halloween party in the west. I thought it would be my last hooray to wear something a little more skimpy and not feel too bad about it. While discussing dates with my mom, the idea that I wanted to wait until after the big party had slipped out and she was appalled…As she should have been. That was the night I realized my heart was not ready for the temple. At that point I poured over my scriptures, the pamphlet that explains the sacredness about the temple, and prayed. I wanted my heart to change before I entered the temple, and it did. Receiving my endowment was a wonderful and peaceful event. I won’t go into detail, but I was happy that I had prepared myself spiritually. From that day forward I began wearing the garment. It’s not very often that I go with out it. We are instructed to wear it as much as we can. I only take mine off when I wear my swimsuit, go rock climbing, or  pretty much when I exercise. At the beginning it was an adjustment, but as I have continued to wear them I have seen them as a blessing in my life. There were a few times that I would throw a pair of shorts on and realize that they were too short and so I would change, or a shirt that didn’t cover everything. Instead of taking off the garments so I could wear the outfit, I took off the clothes that didn’t work and gave them away.  Now as a missionary I heard many things said about garments but mine haven’t stopped a bullet from penetrating my heart, they haven’t stopped a stab wound, or been fire repellant… What they have done is constantly reminded me of the covenants I made in temple and the blessings I have received.

templeNow, I want to talk about the HOWL again. I went ahead and received my endowment in the middle of October. The HOWL was coming up and I wanted to have an exciting costume. I made a promise to myself that I would wear my garments no matter what.  That night my costume was not Mean Girls like, but I was fully clothed. I had a comforting thought pop into my head, I wouldn’t be the only one dressed modest that was at the party. As I went to the party I was so disappointed to see many of my LDS friends who had served missions or been endowed decide to leave their garments at home. There were many males and females that had decided that a night of showing off their sad-looking faux six packs and nice looking coconut bra would be worth it. I was even more shocked by the boys who had decided to just take their tops off and wear the bottom half of the garment when we are specifically instructed to wear both parts together. Many of these people had pictures taken of themselves and they were plastered over Facebook. That night I added to my list of MUSTS for a husband, “respects his garments” (I found one:)) I was heartbroken that so many people were willing to violate their covenants for a night of fun.

That night I went home feeling great about the decision I had made to stick to my covenants. As I have continued to wear my garments, I think back to that night and think about what an internal battle I had over something that seems so plain and simple to me now. If you have been through the temple or are preparing to enter, I urge you to prepare yourself spiritually and physically. What I mean physically is prepare your wardrobe (even though your wardrobe should be pretty close to what it needs to be anyways). We all have our agency and we are instructed to use it. The question is what will you do?

(C)LVB2014

Getting My M.R.S

IMG_3898I remember in elementary school when I would lay on the bottom bunk bed with my blue and white starred comforter thinking about the day I would get married. I had so many ideas to make my wedding day the best day in all the lands. I had planned a huge bonfire in the backyard for roasting marshmallows and a slip in slide for the guests. I would wear a white swim suit with rhinestones spelling out BRIDE on the behind. I had the idea to rent out a movie theater and have the infamous “line” go directly into a movie theater of their choice. Obviously, I thought about it a lot. I have had 24 years to think about all of the details. Often that is how I would fall asleep, is dreaming about the extravagant wedding that I would have one day.

Last night I sat in the family room with my mother and sisters and they watched me open up my “wedding capsule.” We had made them for young woman’s in 2004 when I was 14 years old, such a great idea. It was full of magazine clippings of what I wanted my wedding to look like, the groom’s qualifications, the cake, and the ring. It was so fun to see how I swayed from the extreme wedding plans, because once I met Mr. Bird, none of that matter, only he did. It doesn’t matter that the shades of coral don’t match just right and that yellow is the color everyone hates with a passion. It is not going to be the end of the world when someone gets upset because they can’t find a parking spot. I know I will be very anxious and so my stomach will probably hurt all day, but still that doesn’t matter. What I have come to learn is that what matters the most is being able to be sealed in the Temple for all TIME and ETERNITY. It is definitely the scariest decision both Mr. Bird and I have ever made, but it will be one that blesses us every day until forever.

IMG_3966In my “wedding capsule” there were two letters, one from me and one from my mom. I read mine out loud and there were parts that I couldn’t stop laughing, I had specifically stated that I needed to make sure to not make my husband jealous of me, and that we needed to have kids as fast as we could “no matter the cost,”  whatever that means. What I loved most was my past self saying how I needed to get married in the temple, and that I needed a man worthy to enter. It’s funny that at such a young age we are taught those things. As I look back today, I am so happy that I learned that young. There were years when I thought it would be easier to forgo a Temple wedding to satisfy my temporal needs and the Gospel wouldn’t do much for my family. I realize now, the sealing and the Gospel in my family means everything. I want to run back to my 14-year-old self and let her know, I did it, I made it to the Temple.

My mom read her letter out loud. It almost brought tears to my eyes, I say almost because it totally made my sister Emily bawl. She gave me great advice and said that the day of your wedding will be a hectic one, it will be one of stress and of happiness, but the most important part would be the sealing. I couldn’t agree more mom and dad, thanks for preparing me.

Tomorrow all of my friends and family will begin to pour in and the festivities will start. I can already imagine an impromptu dance party in the family room, loud arguments/discussions between family members, and a fun late night. Saturday will come quickly and the day will pass in a minute. I will be surrounded by my favorite people, and will realize how blessed I truly am. The best part of getting sealed is that we will be together forever no matter what. I will never regret looking at that “BYU” boy and saying hello to him, because now I will never have to say good-bye.

(C)LV-B2014

The R-Word

End the R-WordI want to speak about a somewhat taboo topic, disabilities and mental handicaps. I want to introduce you to someone who I love dearly and consider my good “pal” as he would say it. His name is Uncle Bret. He is my Uncle, and everyone I have introduced him to consider him to be their own Uncle Bret. He was born in Germany while my grandpa was in the Air Force. When Uncle Bret was born, he was different, he had Down Syndrome.

Down syn·drome

noun: Down’s syndrome; noun: Down syndrome; plural noun: Down syndromes
  1. a congenital disorder arising from a chromosome defect, causing intellectual impairment and physical abnormalities including short stature and a broad facial profile. It arises from a defect involving chromosome 21, usually an extra copy (trisomy-21).

End the R-WordI remember when I was little and my grandparents would drive from Logan to visit us in Boise. I would get very excited, it meant Uncle Bret was coming. At the time, much of my excitement came from the fact that my mom stocked the house with chocolate milk for him (one of the few things he likes to drink), but now it has become much more. On one of my grandparents visits, I remember going to Albertson’s with my dad and Uncle Bret. At first I was afraid of what people would think of us because Uncle Bret looked different from the people staring at him. I didn’t know if people were curious or were looking down upon him. It was when a son and father had walked by and the son kept staring, the dad grabbed him by the arm and said “stop staring at that retard.” I am pretty sure I was the only one to hear it. My.heart.broke. I was so little, but I knew we never ever used that word, because it wasn’t kind. I wasn’t always clear on why my mother told us not to use it, but that day I learned exactly why. As years have passed I have heard many stories of how my mom and her two sisters protected Uncle Bret. It is hard to think that we ever have to protect him, that there are still people out there who will tease him for who he is and what he looks like. People with disabilities have a unique and special spirit and the kindest hearts. They have talents that many of us don’t have.

uncle b 4Uncle Bret and I have spent a lot of time together. I went to college in Logan and would see him 2 to 3 times a week. I consider it to be one of my favorite blessings. I have learned so much from him. He has taught me kindness, love, patience, true happiness, and has been a tender mercy to so many around him. I have learned that we have some similarities… We both like shows, and we both like to watch them over and over again. We can quote them, and we never get sick of them. We both love  a good routine, there is nothing better than a regular schedule and sticking to it. We both enjoy teasing each other. Usually we have fake arguments that end with him saying “Clare Cry” and him giving me a hug and saying ”back better.” Even though we are different in appearance, we still have similarities.

I consider myself lucky. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that not everyone grows up knowing someone who has disabilities and I have been blessed by a love that is rare. When we come across something unfamiliar we are not always comfortable.  Sometimes when we meet someone who is “different” from us, we tend to stare, or feel uncomfortable because it is new to us. When we are unsure on how to do something, or feel uncomfortable, the only way to overcome that is to try it out, get to know them, find out what they like to do, spend time with them, I can promise you that you will have a lasting friendship. The reason I wanted to write on this was because it is end the R-WORD week. If you are someone who uses the word, just stop. If you use it as a describing word of something you find “stupid, uncool, or dumb” I want you to reconsider.  God made all of us and he loves all of us, we should follow his example and never show unkindness towards someone who is different.

(C)LV-B2014

I Was a Bully.

yellow flowersI was a hellion growing up. I was not always a nice goody-goody girl, I had a mean streak. I remember walking home one day with two other boys. These boys had hard lives and were a little rough around the edges, they had an idea to start throwing rocks at people going past. It was my turn, instead of saying no, I picked up the rock and I threw it. My t-ball years had paid off (unfortunately) and I hit a girl riding her bike, right in the head. She wobbled and then toppled off. My heart sank. I was torn between two things, fitting in with the boys and being kind. I felt guilt. I got home and didn’t say a word about it to anyone, hoping I could forget. The next day at school, I was called into the principles’ office. It was a scary thing, I was at a brand new school, and I had only been there for a few days. The principal asked me why I did it and even thought it was a witty comeback… “It wouldn’t have hurt if she was wearing a helmet,” to this day I regret my action. I don’t regret it because I got in trouble. Literally, I have never seen my mother so mad, she marched her way down the street, grabbed me by the arm, and walked me home. I spent the day in my room. I regret it because I missed an opportunity to be kind to those around me.

I thought I had learned my lesson but a year later I fell into a similar trap. Once again I was being a bully. I was still hanging out with the rougher kids, and I still did not excel at making friendships with girls. I don’t know if it because I felt threatened by them or because I was that insecure, whatever the reason it doesn’t make it right. I had started playing the trumpet. There was another girl in my grade who started to play as well. My parents had rented me a nice one and I felt very proud about it. There were no scratches, and it was shiny. The other girl’s trumpet was not as nice as mine, and I made sure she knew it. Later, I found out how much I had really hurt her feelings. I apologized years later, but it is something to this day I still regret. Who am I to judge?

A few years later…”I got what I deserved.” I was bullied. Some girls ganged up on me and started rumors about me that were crude and not even a little bit true. It caused me a lot of grief. It made me a different person. I sometimes hated myself because, I began to believe those things flying around about me. It was a hard to shake those feelings, but I was able to find people who were willing to show me kindness.

When the reality of my actions set in, and my own wounds were healing, I decided to change, I was always going to look for ways to be kind… To Everyone. To make someone’s day better. I am still not a professional, and I still have moments when I think, I shouldn’t have done that. Instead of waiting years now when I make a mistake, I go straight to the person and apologize. Whether it is a CEO of a company or someone who is homeless, I strive to treat them with kindness. Today, I watched a video that reminded me of my bullying days, and days I was made to feel like nothing. It was a powerful video that highlighted very real things. As many of you know I am very passionate about anti-bullying and anti-cyber bullying. There is never a life that is worth less than yours, so don’t make them feel that way. You have a choice, don’t be the bully, be the one who sticks up for others. Watch this video, I know it has an LDS religious tone to it, but the overall message is what matters.

The Proposal.

StallionIt was in the middle of January that #clott decided to get married. We picked a date, a venue, a dress, and then a ring. Totally traditional, I know…. (for Mormons). While on our trip to McCall together  we were pleased to hear the news that my brother Max and his girlfriend Kara got engaged! The reason I mentioned Max a few times in my last post was because we literally do everything together. Classes, missions, and now marriage… Should we plan kids too? Now that #kaxwell was engaged we could make ours official. Mr. Bird definitely took full advantage of the anticipation that I was suffering from…

On Monday, Mr. Bird asked me if I wanted to go on a romantic date downtown to get hot chocolate. I tried to look as hot as I could just in case he was going to pop the question. After getting hot chocolate at the most hipster place in Boise, we headed to the next venue. Mr. Bird pulled over and said let’s go check out the Capitol Building. I thought how pretty, this would be the perfect place to get engaged. We went to every floor, read history, and even were able to sneak into the Senate… (BTW Boise, you could totally just walk in there and do what ever you wanted, maybe get some guards?) The whole night I was anticipating that he would get on one knee and ask me to be his wife. He did! Multiple times…Pretending to tie his shoe, or look at something on the ground. To a girl who is anticipating a real diamond on her hand, that was just mean :). The first night I took it like a champ. We found this large stallion statue and I thought this is it, he is going to do it here! He didn’t. We got back in the car, and I was annoyed and he could tell. The night ended and I fell asleep and had a dream that his sister came to me with the ring and she said, Mr. Bird wanted me to give this to you, he chickened out. Out of no where she yelled “JUST KIDDING, it’s not the right time,” and hid it under the piano. Clearly I was obsessing and I need to take up piano again.

On Tuesday I had to work late. I was running my first book Launch and didn’t even consider that night as a possibility. So I had decided that Wednesday would be the night, because we were going to the Temple on Thursday night and he knew I thought that meeting at the institute was already cliche enough…The Temple is a wonderful place, but I just couldn’t handle it. It couldn’t be the weekend because he was leaving town for a funeral. Wednesday was the night… I knew it!

On Wednesday, I tried my best to look adorable so when he came to pick me up I would be ready. He asked me to go get dinner with him. We went to Madhuban an Indian restaurant, at this point I was already on edge. I was easy to take offense and I did. After holding it in for so long I burst out with how annoyed I was! I said can’t you just propose yet? I know he is the right one because he just sat there and took it… Little did I know that he had something planned. He said something along these lines, “In my defense Clare, girls want a big production.” I have never been a girl with a lot of fluff in my life, I would have accepted his proposal in a fast food line or behind a dumpster. Now that’s love. To let my frustrations out he let me drive his car, which is stick shift, and I do very well until there is a car within a mile and then I stall and can not start again… We eventually made it back to my place. My parents were there and he brought up the idea of doing a #doubledate to the temple. If you thought I had reached annoyed capacity, you were wrong. Mr. Bird could see my innards cringing. Even though I didn’t want it to happen outside the Temple, I thought maybe I will just have to live with it. My parents thought it was a great idea to join us.

kisssOn Thursday, it was a pretty normal day. Scott had texted me and said that he would have to meet me at the temple because something with his calling had come up and it would put him behind. Even more annoyed I got ready to go with my parents. We were trying to make the 7:30pm session and we got in the car at 6:50. It’s about a 20 minute drive. Out of no where my dad says, “I need to drop a key off downtown.” At this point I had a sense that something was up. I kept saying (with passion) this is a FACADE, when my sister kindly steered me to a better word, rouse. I was convinced that I was getting engaged that night, until we passed the Capitol Building. My hopes were gone… It wasn’t until I saw his car in the Train Depot parking lot that I realized, I was right (which sums up marriage right?). I looked out the window and saw a rock path covered in candles, white roses, and pictures of us. I got out of the car and my parents took off. (They totally caught the 7:30 session) There was a note waiting for me that said “Follow the light, follow your heart.” I walked down the path and finally saw Mr. Bird in his gray suite standing on a red blanket next to the partially frozen pond. He had a dozen roses in hand, candles surrounded him. It was perfect. I yelled “YOU TRICKSTER!” I walked down and I fell in love all over again. He gave me the roses and said he wanted to be the only man in my life to give them to me. He then started to talk about the Train Depot and how it used to be a place of coming and going, and how people would find their way. He related it to how we both had to come and go from Boise to meet each other. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him… I said, “well, mhmmm, maybe…YES!” I thought I should make him squirm since he made me squirm. After a few minutes of snogging, our friends started to cheer and came to congratulate us. They had caught the whole thing on camera and video… Yes Mr. Bird used his Go Pro in the bushes to catch this priceless moment in our lives.

Early I said I didn’t need anything extravagant to say yes to the man I loved, but I didn’t hate it, I loved it. It showed me that he cared about me and put time into it. I will always remember the night that he asked, and I said yes.

depot                                                                    #clott4ever   March 22, 2014

 

My Ducks are Finally in a Row.

Coincidence that I got engaged the same day I posted something on single hood? I think not. I knew that my engagement would soon be coming, but I didn’t know if it would be that night or next week. Mr. Bird and I had picked out a day and had already started planning, but I had no idea when the ring would make it’s debut. One of the main reasons I wanted to post one last SINGLE LIFE post was because it was a time in my life that I truly enjoyed and am grateful to have experienced. Mr. Bird and I were talking about how meeting each other was fate. We had grown up in the same town, our houses 15 minutes apart. We went to rival high schools. We even had mutual friends, but we never met. At points I have wondered why this was, and it’s pretty clear… We both needed to figure out who we were before we could find each other. When I was 17 I had a life plan. I was going to go to college and I was going to find my “stallion.” He was going to 6’6, 270 and he was going to have a motorcycle. He was going to be like “Babe, get on my bike…Want to marry me?” We would ride off into the sunset and have 6 kids by the time I was 30 so I could get my body back before the I hit the point of no return. I had it all lined up.

Like I said in my single hood post…Plans change, It’s a thing.

missionI turned 19 and was still single. I turned 20 and I was still single. 21 came and I had this feeling that I needed to go on a mission. It was a feeling I had never wanted. I fought with it for a long time, and then finally accepted the fact that God needed me elsewhere. I turned my papers in anticipating that I would serve for 18 months where ever he needed me to go (within the U.S for health reasons). Max (my little brother) and I opened our mission calls within one day of each other. He would be serving in Bahia Blanca Argentina, and I was off to Tirana, Albania. I had not signed up for that… My next thought was I don’t even get a husband, I am going to die on my mission. Max and I entered the MTC together on January 19th, 2011. He was excelling at Spanish and Albanian and I did not get along. I was so physically sick that I could foresee Albania was not going to be the place for me. My heart was broken, and I was reassigned to the Rochester, New York Mission. I started out strong, I was able to take hundreds of tours and meet people who changed my life. My health never really got much better. It got to the point where President and I decided it might be time for me to go home. As I pondered and prayed I realized going home early was what I needed to do. I was promised that it would be for the good of my future family. Whatever that meant…

I came home after serving 11 months and got right back into school. I started to take heavy class loads so I could graduate on time, I had felt that it was very important. During my senior year at USU I got a remote internship in Boise, Idaho. After graduating my internship turned into a full time job that would require me to live in Boise. I had sworn up and down that I would not go back to Boise, but I would go to graduate school, or find a job in New York.  Boise was the only thing that felt right though. Every time I went to sign up for the GRE I would get this little voice in my head that would say no… I was upset, but I listened.

mini chairThe summer before my big move to Boise I worked as a Coordinator for EFY. I was able to meet so many wonderful youth who have changed me for the better. I witnessed so much heartache, sadness, and sin in these youth’s lives. I also was witness to youth who had courage, strength and a testimony. I met people I knew I was supposed to meet. I thought this is my last chance to find someone to marry… I left empty handed, and moved to Boise. Throughout the Summer I would tell people that I would meet someone on Sept. 3 in Boise. I didn’t know how, when, or where, but I had a feeling.

————————————————————————————————————————–

recieptI moved back into my parents house and decided to do something I would usually not do. I felt like I needed to though. I signed up for an institute class…and I went. On August 27th I attended the first class and I said hi to Mr. Bird. He said hi back. I had thought he was cute, but he was a BYU boy…. BYU boy’s usually didn’t have much time for us USU girls 🙂 Throughout the week I started to think about this Mr. Bird. It was on September 3rd that he got my number and that is when it all started. As I relive some of these events all I can think is how lucky I am. I was literally led to my husband. If I wouldn’t have come home early from a mission, I would have still been in school. If I had gone through with the GRE I probably would have gone to grad school. I am sure Mr. Bird and I could have met through another function, but it was fate that we were both led to each other.

I am just so grateful for the path that led me here, the trials and the hardships and even the happy moments that got me back to the place I needed to be. My plan of finding a biker dude, didn’t happen, something better did. I found a man who loves me and is willing to do anything for me. He makes me happy, we can laugh and joke, and we can even be sad together. I have found my other half… I can finally say all of my ducks are in a row 🙂

How did he propose? That story next!

Single Adulthood-It’s a Thing.

My first encountering with a working woman wasn’t until I was older. I was a lucky kid, my parents had it worked out so that my mom could stay at home and raise the six hellions. She was with us constantly, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Growing up, I thought that I would be in a similar situation to my mother’s. I would be married young,I would have lots and lots of babies, and I would enjoy spending time with my family. I wouldn’t be working. It’s not that working was a bad thing, but it was the only thing I had seen at this point in my life.

Single.When I graduated from college I realized that was not going to be the plan for me. I wasn’t married, I wasn’t even close, I mean I had Tinder but it was getting me nowhere. I couldn’t be a stay at home mom with no kids, that’s just creepy. I was in shock, reality had finally seeped into my life and I realized I was going to become a “working girl” (not a street corner one, but a business one). My first thoughts of becoming a working girl where ones of anxiety and worry, but all of these fears have now been shattered. I left college and I got a job. At first I felt disappointed in myself, because I had wanted to become a mom, that is in no way a secret, and thought that my singleness was my fault (it probably was). I forged a new path, I have become a business woman- I wear work pants. I work 8-5. I have PTO. I have a desk. I have clients. I have a 401(k). I just finished my first book launch, it was an adventure and I loved every minute of it. I am working with a new client and am setting up a social media scope of work for them. If you would have set this scenario up for me 10 years ago I would have laughed, it was something that I couldn’t even imagine at the time. I would have thought, it sounds great but it’s not in my plan!

Plans change. It’s a thing.

In the culture I live in, getting married and having children signifies actual adulthood. I am 24, not married (yet…), and am rarely recognized as an adult. It can be frustrating and limiting if you focus on it. Since graduating college I have tried my best to not let my ringless hand limit me. Marriage is something of worth and should be sought after at the right time for you. Until you reach that time in life don’t limit yourself, live a life that you can be proud of, that when you do get married you can look back and have no regrets. There might be some who don’t ever have the chance to be married. don’t let that hold you back either, there are so many great things to be done that can impact many.

Okay perhaps it was a ranting post, but you get the point 🙂

 

My Anchor.

ANCHOR sinkingWe all make mistakes. Did that fact just blow your mind? It shouldn’t have, it is a well-known concept. I am one of those who have made mistakes. I have made some big ones and I have made some small ones there is no denying it. Looking back at some of the mistakes I have made, I think about them as if it was a storm and I am a ship trying to make it through. I could either let the storm overtake my ship or I could put on my xtra tuffs and lower my anchor and let the storm do her best. To master something you must work on it constantly, learn from your mistakes, and learn to always do better the next time. Like I said, we all have storms in our life; it was something we agreed to before we came down to earth. The fact is that most people forget in the midst of these storms that we have an all knowing captain, we have God. He is there to guide our ships; he is there to guide us home.  When a storm comes it is up to the captain to look out for his ship and his crew. God, as our captain, has prepared us for the storms that would enter our lives. He gave us an anchor. He gave us the restored gospel, modern day prophets, the commandments, scriptures, and prayer. God’s tools are not given to hold us back, but have been placed in our lives to keep us safe. We never know exactly when a storm will come, we are never sure when our testimony will falter, or when we will be tempted to step off the path. The one thing that is certain is that our Captain will always be there to lead and guide us. It is up to us to listen and lower our anchor and to do our duties as a crew member. My religion is my anchor. You can look at it and think that my “anchor” holds me down, that’s just the way you see it, and that’s fine. When I look at it, I see it as an anchor that keeps me from sinking so I can return to my captain again one day. I am a crew member, he is my Captain, He is God.

#lifeofaclarebear

(C)LV2014